are things complicated yet?

The Swim Lesson and the Almost-Three-Year-Old

Claire has been very excited about the swim lessons I signed her up for. Her friend Emory takes swim lessons and while were were in California Emory was showing off all of her swimmy skills and Claire was quite impressed. Also, the best part about swim lessons is that you get to go swimming twice a week. In her eyes? SOLD.

Today was the first lesson. She said to me, several times this morning,

"I SO EXCITED about my swim lesson, Mommy!"

"I need my swimsuit! Where my swimsuit!? I have my swim lesson today!"

"Is it time to go yet, Mommy? I don't want to be late for my swim lesson."

"Where are my goggles!? I DON'T WANT TO FORGET THEM!"

So, you know, it was totally expected that when we got there and met her teacher (Sam) that Claire ran away and did not want to set a pinkie toe in that water. There are only two kids in her class and the other little boy wasn't having any of it either and Sam said that this happens every time. (As I suspected.) Claire is pretty adventurous in the water. She's been jumping in and putting her head under, blowing bubbles and kicking all summer, so I knew it was just getting-to-know-her shyness and that she'd warm up at some point.

Sure enough, about twenty minutes into the lesson Claire decided that she'd like to leap into the water and go fetch a noodle that had floated away. It was all her idea and she told Sam that she wanted her to catch her and they'd go get the noodle together. At that moment, when she just jumped in with no fear and a world of joy and happy on her face? Oh, I was proud of her. I was so thrilled for her. My big girl, doing something on her own and with someone she just met, learning new things and being, well, such a big girl.

(Charlotte and I enjoyed the part where we did not have to get wet.)

Since she had spent 20 minutes of the 35 minute lesson pouting and deciding if she'd like to get in the pool at all, once she warmed up there wasn't much time left to play. I warned her several times that it would almost be time to go and we had talked in advance, a lot, about how when the teacher says the lesson is over it is time to dry off and we will be back the next time. Many times! But, since she is almost-three she totally lost her shit when the lesson was over.

She ran away, she cried, she laughed at me. Repeatedly. Her baby sister was crying in her carseat and I had to run after her, down the length of the 25-yard pool. It was like she had switched her ears off: she wasn't listening to a single word I said. She crumpled onto the floor when I finally got to her, refused to walk and did that aggravating noddle leg thing and she laughed at me the entire time. It was...mortifying. Here I had one child screaming in her carseat and one child running away from me and laughing in my face about it. LAUGHING!

And you know what? It's the worst when this happens after I have done something fun, FOR HER. Like, we would not even be in this awkward discipline situation if I wasn't such a fun mom and signed you up for swim lessons in the first place. WHERE IS MY THANK YOU? Perhaps we will just stay home and never do fun things! HOW ABOUT THAT!? [More laughing.]

After a few low-toned Serious Discussions about what I expected from her as we were leaving, plus a handful of threats and privileges taken away, I ended up having to put her over my shoulder, wet, and carry her to the car. I carried an almost-three-year-old to the car. I should not have to do that and I never HAVE had to do that with her. Claire is normally a pretty obedient child and in the rare event she does not listen or follow directions I can still get the behavior I want and need if she is properly incented with a reward or something taken away from her.

But, not today. (And really, not for the past week.) I hear Three is like this. Three doesn't listen. Three laughs at you. Sometimes, Three acts like an untethered zoo animal. We came directly home and I sent her to her room for the mother of all Time Outs. She ended up taking a nap while sequestered. (GOOD.)

So, um, parents who have gone before me? How do we manage Three? What does Three want? How do we contain Three and still go out in public and not end every day with half a bottle of wine? 

She is not even actually three and there are seven swim lessons left and I still need to go places like Walmart during the day and...look I just do not want to be laughed at when I make reasonable requests, okay? The laughing is the worst.

Is that too much to ask? It's too much to ask, isn't it? Shit.

Thank God June only has 30 days because I could not possibly have dealt with a 31st

I don't even know where to start. It feels like the month of June was just so sucktacular we're still recovering from it, more than halfway through July. The dog, Jackson, the reflux and a handful of other unbloggable topics just pushed the level of Krazy to an unbearable level for so many weeks. It was honestly like we woke up every day, looked at each other and said,

"What? Another thing? Really? But...things were supposed to start getting better today. THIS? Is this really happening right now? Hit me. No, really, hit me. This has to be a nightmare."

But it wasn't a nightmare, it was just Real Life kicking us in the shins on the playground.

Now it's July and it's almost August (my least favorite month of the year) and time is doing that weird thing where it starts to speed up just when things get good. So, let's talk about those good things, shall we?

***

1. My brother got engaged! To a nice girl that we like love! Her name is Eden and they're getting married in February. When I first found out they were going to get engaged I thought my mom was about to tell me that they broke up. No, seriously, look at this conversation:

"I talked to your brother today and he told me that he had been avoiding calling me."

"Oh?" (This can't be good.)

"Yes, he said that he had something to tell me."

"Hmmm, he did?" (SHIT. She is going to tell me that they broke up. DAMMIT. I liked her! A LOT!)

"He said that he and Eden moved in together and he is going to ask her to marry him."

"ZOMGWTFBBQ!* You mean we get to keep her!?"

Yes. We get to keep her. She said yes. Wooo! I don't have a sister, only my dorky little brother, so this is big news for me. It is also big news because it means I will no longer be the only girl, which is a bit worrisome as I am very used to getting my way and not having to share (I mean, it has been this way for almost 33 years). But, I can share with Eden. I will happily share with Eden. I mean, she let me have her copy of Game of Thrones before she even read it so she is obviously going to be a totally awesome and my kind of sister-in-law.

2. Look at my (happily medicated) baby:

3. I resigned from my job. BOOM. 

4. Well, I didn't exactly resign from my job. I informed my employer that I only have 10-20 hours a week available at this point in my life and they're mulling over what they think of that. I may go back, I may not, but whatever the arrangement is it will not be full-time. Obviously, this is a huge, huge, huge change for us in a lot of ways and to be honest I'm just sort of starting to process what it means to me. I am sure I'll have more to say later.

5.I finished a project! I KNOW! I have a baby with reflux and an almost-three-year-old and I finished a flipping project. HOT DIGGITY DOG.

It's the IKEA spice racks as bookshelves. I spray painted them with some green stuff from Lowe's and Chris hung them up and I have to say, these suckers are cute. Have I made or bought proper curtains for her room yet? Nooooo. That's the same old blackout liner that I thumbtacked up the first week we moved in. Sorry, Claire. Not everything in your room can be classy all at the same time.

6. I started writing for Food Lush. I post on Tuesdays and still post on Wednesdays at Style Lush.

7. I bought all of the Game of Thrones books from Amazon last week, after I finished the first one that my (future) sister-in-law gave me. This is notable only because I decided some time ago to stop buying books in the first place because they take up so much space and it can be an expensive habit. (I refuse to venture into e-reader territory.) I read the first book in 48 hours and there was no way in hell I was going to wait until I got around to the library for the next one when I have Amazon Prime to hook me up by Wednesday.

It was SO good. I don't have HBO, so I haven't seen the show, but it was really good. After I read the first one I spent about two hours on Wikipedia reading about all the other books and the cast of the show and theories and WHOA there is a new book that just came out? I am about 100 pages into the second one. It's fun having a series that I'm into again.

The next book I want to read is A Discovery of Witches, because people on Twitter will not stop talking about it. I might have already put it in my cart. What are you reading these days?

8. I bought a 7-pound chocolate cake at Costco last week. Now, 7-pounds doesn't SOUND like a lot, but it is. This cake was probably a foot across and 8-inches high. Really good chocolate cake. Fudgy with chocolate shavings all over it and loads of chocolate buttercream. I had no occasion to buy it for. No birthday, special event, nothing. I just really wanted some quality chocolate cake, which is hard to find these days. Have you noticed this too? Chocolate cake, disappearing from dessert menus across the country? YES. It is actually happening. It is a Thing.

I have had more than a few dinners ruined by getting to the end and being all excited about some chocolate cake (a staple of the dessert menu!) and then seeing a bunch of fruit crap and butterscotch or caramel garbage and NO CHOCOLATE CAKE. Really, do they think men suddenly have the sole ownership of dessert choosing decisions? (They don't.) What is going on here? My theory is that chocolate cake is too lowbrow and common and simple for a pastry chef to get excited about and include on the menu. Chocolate cake does not get you a show on Food Network. Memo to Pastry Chefs: You are not too good for chocolate cake. IT IS WHAT YOUR CUSTOMERS WANT.

Anyway.

You will be so proud of me because I sliced that 7-pound cake of awesome up into about 16 slices, put each slice into a Ziploc and froze it.

Now? I have chocolate cake whenever I want. (Well, whenever I deem appropriate as "whenever I want" would be "every day for lunch.") I am a cake genius. I am eating cake right now.

 

*I saw Sam use this phrase on Twitter last week and I have been laughing about it for DAYS.

I was not expecting to need to talk to my daughter about tattoos quite this soon

We went to Costco on Friday, just me and the girls. There was a guy sitting outside of Costco that had a really impressive, really gigantic, really colorful tattoo of a dragon on his leg. It wrapped around his leg and he had some other tattoos on his arms and the other leg. But, the dragon was the best one. It's fair to say he was a fan of ink.

Claire was instantly drawn to this guy. I saw her staring at him while we got the cart and I put Charlotte in it. I could tell that she wanted to say something about him and I guessed it had to do with the dragon because hey, even I had noticed it and thought silently to myself, "I am not really into tattoos but that is one HELLUVA tat." She wasn't sure what to say or how to phrase it. Finally, she pointed at the man and in a very loud, admiring voice said,

"MOMMY! That man has STAMPS on his leg!"

(Pause)

"I LIKE 'EM!"

So. That was pretty funny.

***

When kids are good at her school they give out stamps on their hands as a reward. Claire also has lots of stamps here at home that she likes to play with and if I leave her alone with them for a microsecond she will stamp her arms all the way up to her shoulders with trains, airplanes and doggy paw prints in a rainbow of colors. (Whatever, they're washable.) At first I was mildly confused about the "stamps" part of her description, but it makes total sense that she thinks a tattoo is a "stamp." (A very elaborate, large stamp.)

Now I just have to work on the part about how some stamps are washable and some are permanent and Mommy would really prefer if you keep away from the permanent ones, but if you must get one at some point in your life, FTLOG please do not put it on your lower back. PLEASE. There are too many pop culture references to this location and just...please do not do that Claire. I figure I've got a couple of years to deliver that message but by then there will probably be a new version of the infamous Tramp Stamp that I don't even know about.

I don't have any tattoos. I remember a period in college where it seemed like everyone was going to the tattoo/body piercing shop to get something done. I remember briefly considering whether I wanted to join the crowd. I was far too squeamish to pierce my tongue and that idea didn't even appeal to me anyway. I never had the kind of navel that merited piercing and after my 5' 11" model roommate got hers pierced I was like, "There is no way I'm going to do that and then stand next to HER at the swimming pool to make for easy comparisons, HA HA NO."

As for a tattoo, I could never figure what bit of artwork I wanted to carry around with me forever or where I wanted to put it. I was very concerned about being able to hide it in a professional situation and also not having something frivolous or trendy that I was sure to grow tired of. I was also uncomfortable with the idea of a tattoo just for the sake of having a tattoo. So, I dithered on the topic for not very long (perhaps a weekend), left the idea behind and never returned to it due to a complete lack of interest on my part.

Now, as a 32-year-old mom of two? I AM SO GLAD I MADE THAT DECISION. I don't think tattoos are wrong and I don't have Opinions about them or the people that have them. They're just not right for me because I change my mind about certain things very frequently. I'm pretty sure anything I would have chosen as a twenty-year-old would not agree with me 12 years later. (Twenty-year-old me thought a pair of platform, red, faux-snakeskin boots were totally amazing and an excellent investment.)

This got me wondering, do you have a tattoo or piercing that you got a long time ago? Do you still like it? Would you have maybe done anything different? Location, size, color, artwork, care of it over time? I think I have heard that some tattoos fade or something in the sun? I know I have seen tons of people not apply sunscreen to theirs so I have always wondered about that. Plus, there's also the part about how I know MY body has changed a great deal since I was 20 and I wonder if I HAD gotten a tattoo if my wonky, has-had-two-babies body would, um, display the artwork as nicely as it had a decade ago (you know, depending on location). Or, perhaps you're shaking your head because you did make a great choice and you still love it.

Anyhoodle, tattoos. Claire likes them at two-years-old. That's definitely one for the baby book.

If the cost of preschool shocks me, I don't even want to know what college is going to cost in 2028. DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME.

Let's talk daycare and preschool for a little bit, shall we?  Claire has been in the same daycare since she was 3 months old. 

The facility is across the street from my office, offers a discount because of where I work and is unbelievably convenient for me to pick up and drop off.  Our old house was on that side of town and it was also on the way to work for Chris. It was a great first daycare for Claire AND us.

And yet.

There were always THINGS about the facility that irked me.  The director always seemed more interested in pacifying me rather than giving me a solid, actionable answer.  She and her staff seemed to alternately panic about illness ("Your kid is kind of hot. AIEEE! Take her home!") or be completely nonplussed ("Swine Flu? Yeah, we plan to...sanitize toys? If someone gets it?  It's just the flu -- no big deal!").  The name of the school had a misspelled word in it, I think to make them "unique," but I couldn't shake the feeling that it was an error I was giving them too much credit for.

Their policies and procedures seemed contrived at times.  After one year you get 5 days of "vacation" free.  I asked for it and was told I had to give 30 days notice and take it all in the same calendar week. Really?

They give the kids crap for snacks and encourage parents to bring in all kinds of HFCS-laced monstrosities for birthdays (every week it seems). The "teachers" are kind, but too-young and sometimes a bit flip for me. They don't really seem on the up-and-up.  They told me she was behind on her vaccinations but failed to understand that combination vaccines take care of more than one disease. 

Keep in mind that I collected all of these anecdotes over 18 months; one offense last year wasn't enough for me to leave, but now? Ugh, now I'm annoyed and I feel like I have to double check them constantly on administrative topics.

As an infant it was an ideal place for her. But as a toddler, my viewpoint changed dramatically.  I didn't want her eating CHEETOS for afternoon snack when I'd packed blueberries.  And yet, there she was, with fake powdered cheese all over her face one day.  I cringed when I saw the garish cupcakes and store-bought brick of fake rice-krispie treats another parent had brought in for a birthday.  

When the receptionist told me that she had hand foot and mouth disease (Oh? You're a doctor AND a receptionist? That's incredible!) and that I needed to keep her home for DAYS, even though CDC policy on the virus in a group childcare setting said she absolutely DID NOT, I was annoyed for days. 

She even had the gall to say, "CDC?"

I literally said, in my most "holy crap, you are an idiot" voice,

"THE UNITED STATES CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL?  SURELY YOU HAVE HEARD OF IT AND ARE FAMILIAR WITH THEIR POLICIES ON THE TOPIC SINCE THAT IS YOUR MOTHER FUCKING JOB."

(Okay, maybe I didn't say "mother fucking".  But I was thinking it and my tone said it for me.)

I thought about, and shopped for, another solution many times.  In the end I always came back to the killer rate, the location close to my office, the fact that I seemed to be able to mitigate the unhealthy snacks most days (I know that I can't shield her from Cheetos and crappy baked good forever) and even though the director might be kind of dim, it isn't hurting Claire, it was just annoying the crap out of me.  She isn't being HARMED by staying there during the day.  On the contrary, many days she REFUSED TO LEAVE and Tantrum Claire greeted me with "NO, NO, NO! NO GO HOME! WANT TO PLAY!"

(I'm happy to see you too, Claire.)

When we moved last March, the location was no longer desirable, so they only had the rate working for them at this point.  I was the only one who could pick up/drop off.  While this hasn't been SO difficult (after all, I do go to work every day) it would be better if she was closer to the house so we could have more flexibility.

I wondered if I was being too picky about the whole thing.  Too snobby?  Unrealistic, perhaps? Eh, maybe.  My threshold for stupid is low.  But it doesn't change the fact that I want what I want. 

I started shopping the preschools and daycare facilities near the new house.  To my absolute HORROR, they all cost at least 20% more.  ALL OF THEM, without exception, with plenty costing 30% and 40% more.  Moving 20 miles to a legit suburb with a grocery store down the street means that daycare costs an ASTRONOMICAL amount here.

I was not prepared for that.  I reconsidered the situation.  Two months went by.  I continued to be alternately annoyed and fine. They introduced Claire to Froot Loops.  I made a face.

And that brings us to last week when I was doing some casual Googling with a new set of keywords.  I found what looked like a promising place, just around the corner.  We took a tour and it was HEAVEN.  Just like the Belinda Carlisle song: HEAVEN ON EARTH. It was that amazing.

The lunches are catered in by a local company, locally sourced and nothing is fried.  They'll allow me to pack a lunch for her. (Weirdly enough, that has been a challenge to find; a lot of places are playing the Allergy Card and telling me that it's too risky to allow parents to bring in lunch because of The Kids With Peanut and Wheat and Egg and Milk Allergies.  I understand that, but, uh, what you're feeding them is not healthy, you idiots.  It's basically school lunch from the Sysco truck and we know how messed up THAT is.  I was tempted to tell them that my child is allergic to HFCS and corn products in general, and see what they did what that information.) 

The school we looked at has a blanket no-sugary snacks policy.  There's a library with a ton of books and tiny sofas with wee ottomans.  There's an indoor gym with a parachute, hula hoops and a PE teacher. There's a music room that has a Julliard graduate teaching kids how to, I don't know, ding a triangle or something while she plays the BABY GRAND PIANO.  (I wonder if she thinks this is a good use of her education?) 

The kids take Spanish and Mandarin Chinese language lessons twice a week.  (This is hysterical to me since it's the dictionary definition of a Snobtastic Preschool. It's something you'd read in The Nanny Diaries. Chinese and Spanish for a 21-month-old! Heeeee!)  There's a garden outside that the kids dig around in.  They have extra classes that rotate every few weeks; dance, karate, origami (no, wait, I made that last one up -- but you believed it, DIDN'T YOU?!).  They do BABY YOGA every day at 3p, which makes me laugh because it's so obviously stupid and a parent marketing trick and yet I'm strangely attracted to it.

BABY YOGA!  YES!  I AM INTERESTED!  SIGN US UP!

It's bright, cheery and happy and less than one mile from our house. The director claims to be a germaphobe and I love that.

BUT. There is a huge BUT. (You knew that was coming, right?)

It's a full 33% more expensive than where she is now.  A THIRD. How is this even possible?!?!  It was nice, but the kids weren't like, eating off of solid gold plates or anything. (Maybe they're paying that music teacher more than I think.)

It's also a Montessori school, and I'm not quite sure what I think about that.  I'm still forming an opinion and I'd love yours if you have one. (Either way, good or bad, please pipe up if you have thoughts.)

So, I'm back where I started.  Again.  I like the piano-yoga-chinese-origami school but it's too expensive.  I'm more okay with the price at more run-of-the-mill facilities in the area (even though they're 20% more) but I have really, really strong feelings about that food they give them. I hate it.  I think it's unhealthy.  I don't want her to eat that every day.

*SIGH*

Preschool.  Nobody told me it would be so full of drama.

I totally wanted to deal with illness and stupid people while I am on my Girl's Weekend. TOTALLY.

Yesterday I arrived in sunny California for The Blathering.  It wasn't a stressful travel day, but it was long.  I left the house at 6 am, flew stand by to get on the earlier flight, arrived in Sacramento by noon and I was in my sedan on the way to Napa by 1230. 

I was feeling pretty efficient about the whole morning.  When I was finally in the car I took this big breath and relaxed and said, "Self, now it is time to start having FUN!"

Chris called, and while I updated him on my whereabouts I suddenly heard the baby yammering in the background.  Wait, wha?  The baby?  It's only, um, 230 in Texas and the baby doesn't usually get picked up until 330...why is the baby with you?

"Oh, um, well, the girls at daycare called and said that someone in her room had a confirmed case of H1N1 so I thoguht I should go pick her up and keep her home."

WHAT?

Claire had just been to the doctor the day before.  She was coughing, had a snotty nose and they located the source of her extreme fussiness as an ear infection.  She was not and had not been running a fever.  I was pretty sure she didn't have the flu, but what?  Now someone DOES?

I asked Chris to tell me PRECISELY what the girls at the daycare had told him.  He repeated himself and I was suddenly full of suspicions.

You see, I knew that hardly anyone is actually being tested specifically for H1N1 because the volume of potential cases is, at this point, overwhelming.  I suspected that it was actually PRESUMED swine flu and that either this parent was misinformed or the daycare workers had heard a phrase and jumped to a conclusion.

Add this to the fact that I knew, I JUST KNEW, that the director wasn't the kind of lady who makes plans in case of contagious illness.  I have asked her before what herplan is in case of a large outbreak and she always gives me this highly annoying rainbows and ponies canned answer.

"Oh, we plan to keep parents informed and just try to keep everything really clean and wash hands often."

This kind of "yay, hand sanitizer!" answer infuriates me because it totally ignroes the fact that young children and more specifically, MY CHILD WHO IS STILL CONSIDERED AN INFANT, are among the most at-risk for complications and death. 

I hadn't pressed her on it more because I hadn't yet figured out what I wanted her to do - but it was on my list to research a bit more when I got home.

So now I am sitting in the car, a frillion miles from my family, my baby is already sick and now there is some nutter parent who is using medical buzzwords to scare the crap out of people.  Greaaaaaat.

I call our pediatricion, who is so completely awesome.  I speak to her nurse.  The nurse says that it's pretty much impossible for this kid to have a confirmed case of swine flu because the state isn't accepting cultures for testing.  Rather, what they are doing is testing for Influenza A and B.

If you test positive for B then you have seasonal flu.  Go to bed.  But if you test positive for A then you MIGHT have swine flu.  Or it might be seasonal flu.  Type A just puts you in the "maybe it's H1N1" category and gives your doctor a little more information to treat you.

So I call the director back and I explain this.  This child cannot possibly have a "confirmed case of swine flu" unless his Dad works for the freaking CDC.  So this parent is mis-informed or has a quack doctor or you guys are making shit up. I get more canned happy.

"Oh, Mrs. Stevens, we are doing everything we can to clean that room.  It's probably the cleanest room we have today!  And yes, all I can tell is what we were told, that the child has swine flu and I mean, uh, I assume that this means it is confirmed by someone.  Because the parent told us that: confirmed case of swine flu."

I tell her that if she is assuming anything that is not appropriate.  She needs to call that child's parent immediately and get more information.  She's reluctant to do this.  I explain that what I am lacking is RELIABLE INFORMATION.  I explain that this is really quite serious and for my daughter's age group the consequences of not knowing precisely what she's been exposed to could prove to be fatal. 

This parent doesn't know what she's talking about and you need to call her and bring her up-to-date on current protocol for influenza so you can keep the other children safe. I can't properly treat MY child unless I know exactly what she's been exposed to.  This information is very important and has far-reaching impact beyond sending kids home today and ordering more hand sanitizer.

I am completely exasperated that this women hasn't done a whit of research on the virus and current CDC guidelines/standards for age groups that she is responsible for.  She wraps up with a weak, "Well I also have a call into our licensing board to see what they think we should do."  Clearly, this woman is ill-prepared for both swine flu and a demanding parent like me.

40 minutes later she says that the child did test positive for Type A and it is PRESUMED swine flu.  Ha.  I told you so, bitches.

I call Dr. H and relay this key information. She says that since Claire has been in close contact (in the same room) with a child who has tested positive for Influenza A, because Claire is so young, still an infant really, she would strongly consider putting her on a prophylactic dose of Tamiflu.  Tamiflu isn't approved for children under one year of age but Dr. H says that she knows I'm a smart mom who wants a lot of information, and she wants to go over all of our options and the rationale for each.  I appreciate this a great deal.

Since Claire is 2 weeks from being one year old, she's confortable giving her the medication.  It can make some kids act really weird and we'll have to watch her closely to make sure she doesn't develop any symptoms anyway (fever, chest congestion, reduced fluid intake all mean she needs to be seen immediately).  But, in the end, I'm with Dr. H. 

We find a pharmacy who can dispense it in liquid format and she'll be on that for the next 10 days.  I'll be out here in California for most of it so Chris will be watching her like a hawk.

I miss my baby.

We interrupt this ongoing vacation saga to bring you The Incredible Growing Baby

Seriously, I look at these photos and I can't believe it.

CAN. NOT.  BELIEVE. IT.

A few days after we brought her home

Last night, 10 months old

My brain is fried and I can't remember how to write

So, just look at these pictures of Claire.

Here is Claire with her Daddy in the parking lot of Wal-Mart.  (Obvs, we only take her to the nicest places that Ft Worth has to offer.)

We did not have a lot of success with the 8 month photo.  I am not thinking things will be different with the 9 month photo next week. 

WHOA.  Seriously Claire.  We do not leap out of the chair.

Oh, I suppose you have somewhere you need to be?  Wait, do you have a date?  YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DATE.  Get back here young lady!  Stop crawling so dang fast! 

People who aren't interested in baby vomit should just skip this one

Yesterday I took Claire to the doctor because she had been sniffly all weekend and was beginning to act like Not Herself.  A little lethargic, less chatty, more tired, less appetite.  They always say to bring her in if she has drainage of any kind so they can check her ears.  The last two times she's had an ear infection and this seemed like another one.

Doc checked ears, throat, chest...and nothing could be found.  She guessed it was likely a cold, but to watch it carefully, and sent us on our way.  I am sure I will be billed more than $100 for a (literally) 3-minute event.  (Non-event?  Either way it's completely ridiculous.)

Claire had trouble sleeping last night and her breathing got a bit heavier as the snot thickened up.  She woke up early, but was still obviously tired, yet could not manage to get back to sleep for more than 20 minutes.  I suctioned her nose and she screamed horribly while I did it, but she was breathing more clearly and even playing some.  It was with a heavy heart that I took her to daycare and went to work.  I left her in pajamas since the torture of changing clothes was more than either of us could bear after the snot sucker.  I knew she wasn't feeling 100% but she wasn't running a fever or coughing and the Doctor DID SAY she was fine. 

Claire spit up a lot today.  It wasn't the number of times that was alarming, but rather the volume expelled the two times she did.  I'm starting to wonder where the line is between baby spit up and plain old sickie baby vomit. 

They called me in the middle of the day (which made my heart leap out of my chest when I saw the number on my caller ID - it's the first time they've EVER called).  They told me that she had barfed all over her clothes AND her back-up clothes so when I pick her up don't be alarmed that they had to put her in random back-up clothes for babies whose (bad) mothers do not pack enough clothes.  (I thought one back-up outfit was enough, but no.)

She spiked a fever of 101 by 3pm that afternoon when I picked her up and spent the entire afternoon at home sitting on my lap with her head on my chest while she watched her father perform various chores.  She hasn't sat that still and that quietly, for that long, since she was just weeks old.  She's teething, she's growing, she has a cold.  Poor sweetheart must just feel like crap.

She went to bed at 5 tonight - a full two hours early.  I have a feeling if we have a rough night and she's not feeling better by tomorrow we'll be back at the Doctor's office for an actual diagnosis this time around. 

Am I the only one seriously considering just not dressing my child when we're at home?

Hey Claire!  What are you up to today in the kitchen?

Um, I'm not sure you're supposed to go over there.

Really, I'm pretty sure Claire.  Maybe you should come back this way.

Yeah!  Seriously!  This way!

Hey!  Get out of the dog's water bowl!  How did you get all the way over there?  I turned my head for like, A SECOND!  Only a fraction of a second! 

Hey!  Not both hands!  Get both hands OUT OF THERE!

You've only be wearing this bunny outfit for four minutes.  And it's already time for a new outfit.  I swear, why do I even BOTHER dressing you?   I hope that was worth the fit you're about to throw when I put a new onesie on you.

How I turned an entire bag of spinach into 6 measly ice cubes

I've been making Claire's food for about two months now (though she's only been eating it for about 1) and I have to say that it's pretty easy.  You just steam up some fruits and veggies, toss them in the Cuisinart, give them a very satisfying whir to puree them, dump them in ice cube trays and stash in the freezer.

Last night I went on a binge - I made a ton of things in about 2 hours and I'm hoping that Claire will be pretty set up for a while and I won't have to clean all those stupid Cuisinart parts again anytime soon.

Just look at all the pretty colors!  Who wouldn't want to eat this yummy stuff?  My freezer looks mighty attractive when I open the door.

From left to right we have:  Carrot, Blueberry-Pear, Apple-Peach-Strawberry, Parsnips, Broccoli, Red Potato, Peas, Blueberry-Apple-Pear, Strawberry-Pear, Spinach, Sweet Potato, Zucchini, Butternut Squash, Corn-Potato-Carrot and Green Beans.

I have no idea why I just capitalized all of those foods as if they are proper nouns. 

Claire doesn't actually eat all this stuff yet.  Some items are new - like the spinach, corn, green beans and peas.  So far she's eating nearly everything we give her (and patting her tray impatiently when we don't shovel it in fast enough) and that's SO encouraging.  I really disliked the evening Serious Discussion With Claire wherein she pursed her lips and got really, really mad when we dared to offer her delicious pears.  Now?  Pears are among her favorites.

I am hopeful that she won't be a picky eater....but I'm not holding my breath that we won't go through a stage like that eventually.

It's a bit odd choosing what she's going to eat every day.  I'm trying to do an even mix of fruits and veggies plus some oatmeal.  I always wonder what she's in the mood to eat and if she ever thinks,

"Oh, just sweet potato?  I was hoping for maybe some carrots."

Sometimes I find myself trying to decide what I'd want to eat and then giving her that.

"Broccoli today?  Ugh!  No!  Let's do.....Squash!  It's a nice day for squash!"

Most of the time I find myself reaching for fruit.  Because hey - it's hot outside and the fruit ice cubes are pink and purple and so cute and delicious looking.  Plus, fruit is so darn yummy. I know she agrees with me on this one. 

She's always the most excited about fruit - any kind.  Her eyes get really big and her mouth hangs open the entire time once she figures out what's on the menu.  She especially seems to love the combinations of fruit and she will eat cube after cube of the stuff until I think she's about to explode.  (And sometimes?  She does!  All over the carpet!  Welcome to my home with blueberry spit-up stains in the living room.) 

We'll add in some cheese, yogurt, pasta and meats soon.  But, for now, the whole solid foods thing is going pretty well.  She's happy.  We're happy.  And bellies are full.