The thing about Third Baby is we were on the fence. We were happily on the fence, but still there. Third Baby fence-sitters, we were.
We talked about Third Baby often. The consensus was we would LIKE to have Third Baby, we were just not particular on WHEN. We did not want to go back to the RE. The infertility insurance vanished with my job and we weren't feeling baby-wanty-pain yet, in regards to Third Baby. After all, Charlotte only JUST turned one year old. No, Third Baby would have to be a straight-up miracle baby, or we were going to have to reallllllly want Third Baby, and be several years from now, to put ourselves (and our finances) through that a third time.
We were honest with ourselves. We knew our chances for having a miracle Third (free!) Baby were slim. Over the years it's been proven fairly unlikely we'd score a third kid on our own. Yes, we thought, this Third Baby is a very improbable thing, but it's fun to talk about and think about as something that might happen to us, if we got very lucky.
But, it's foolish to think it might actually happen to us. After all, we're not that lucky.
We trained our brains to be happy with two (and we are!) because a third child seemed SO FAR beyond a reasonable thing for a couple like us to want. (A twin pregnancy turned singleton with Claire, an exceedingly low beta that practically guaranteed an unviable pregnancy with Charlotte [she turned out to be a persistent little person], plus 19 failed cycles, very large needles, and big piles of cash.) We are lucky to have two.
I gave the baby stuff away. I sent all of my maternity clothes to Seattle. I gave my baby name book to my brother. I got weepy over the end of Charlotte's babyhood, thinking she was very probably my last baby. I told everyone who asked that it would be years before another kid, if we even DID have a third kid, which wasn't very likely.
(You see where this is going, yes?)
Then I found myself pregnant, almost exactly one year after Charlotte was born. Third Baby will be here in January, a mere 20 months after Charlotte arrived.
(Now we're a horrible, wonderful, infertility cliche. Maybe if you just relax! and all that. Oh, if only my past self could see me now.)
We're thrilled. Even though we really wanted a third kid some day, it was still a surprise that took a little getting used to, because it was just SO unexpected. We never allowed ourselves the luxury of dreaming the three-child dream. (I imagine this is what lottery winners feel like: they knew there was a chance to win, but a very small chance and expectations were set accordingly.) (FIVE! HOLY CRAP FIVE PEOPLE IN THIS FAMILY.) Jarring as it was, it has been so freeing to have the decision of when made for us. No more wringing of hands about whether to see the RE, no more injections or blood tests, no more hot tears of frustration.
Practically, if we're going to have three kids anyway, it feels somewhat sensible to be getting the diaper years behind us and getting onto the older kid, everyone-speaks-english and dresses themselves years. (Well, that's what we told ourselves when we figured out we'd have three kids in four years.) (Those cloth diapers are starting to look like a mighty, mighty fine investment right about now.) (THREE CHILDREN, ARE WE INSANE?)
I have moments of fear. I'm so frightened someone will get hurt this time. Have I been really lucky to have two healthy pregnancies and two relatively simple deliveries? Is this asking for trouble? I'm super intimidated at the idea of parenting three young kids.
I don't know how the carseats will fit, and we have to sell the airplane (it only has four seats). I am filled with dread at the pregnancy-related discomforts to come. It feels like I will never be thin again and the physical indignities of near-constant pregnancy and nursing for what will end up being six years will definitely take their toll on my body. Gaining and losing the same thirty-five pounds for a THIRD time will also definitely be bruising to my ego. I'll probably never sleep again, but that's the least of my worries. If I think about it too much, it sounds really tough (and exhausting) to have three young kids. The overriding thought I keep having is,
"Things will get so much harder before they get easier."
And...that's probably very true. (Well, I am GUESSING. People with three children, feel free to correct me. FEEL FREE.)
I console myself with the idea that our kids won't be so little and so whiny and so needy forever. It'll last a few years and then we'll be on to other things that require less round-the-clock attention. Mostly, I think about how much fun they'll be to watch grow up. And, when we're older, we'll have lots of people to take care of us. That part is nice to think about, too.
I never, ever thought I would have a family this size. For a long time I wondered if I'd ever have even one baby. And now, in a span of about four years, I'll have three. For some reason, knowing this is my last pregnancy makes everything in my life feel more grounded and firm than it ever has before. It feels as if a big piece of the story of our family, that we didn't quite know we were waiting on, has fallen into place.
And just like that, I can picture myself as an old woman, surrounded by my thousands of iPhone pictures and unedited videos, wondering if I ever really did have fits of worry about parenting three children. I am certain that one day I will remember this next year, this year of my last baby, with great fondness and joy.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Amy | July 03, 2012 at 09:26 PM
Congratulations!!
Posted by: Angela (@Aferg22) | July 03, 2012 at 09:28 PM
Oh, A'Dell! I am so, SO happy for you guys!!
Posted by: Elsha | July 03, 2012 at 09:29 PM
Yaaaayyyy! So excited for you.
Posted by: Rhiannon | July 03, 2012 at 09:40 PM
Congratulations! I'm also due in January, when my daughter will be less than 21 months old. Scary and exciting!
Posted by: KayleyM115 | July 03, 2012 at 09:40 PM
This is brilliant news! And you have such a great outlook on the whole thing. Congraulations!
Posted by: Linnea | July 03, 2012 at 09:42 PM
Such wonderful news for you and your family! Congratulations!
Posted by: Amanda | July 03, 2012 at 09:44 PM
Omg omg omg omg omg! So happy for you! Congratulations!
Posted by: Tara | July 03, 2012 at 09:45 PM
Beyond excited for you. xoxo :)
Posted by: Jen | July 03, 2012 at 09:53 PM
What wonderful news! Congratulations!
Posted by: Nic | July 03, 2012 at 09:55 PM
Congratulations!
Posted by: Sarah C. | July 03, 2012 at 09:56 PM
Congratulations!!!!!! That is fantastic news!!! And your brother is having a baby at the same time!!! 19 months apart at age 4 & 5.5 is pretty awesome, FYI.
Posted by: Morgan s. | July 03, 2012 at 09:57 PM
Woohoo! Yay for third "free" baby!
Posted by: Carrisa | July 03, 2012 at 10:08 PM
Great news! Congratulations!
Posted by: Kimberly | July 03, 2012 at 10:11 PM
Eeee, so happy for you.
Posted by: Maria | July 03, 2012 at 10:14 PM
I got CHILLS reading this. So happy for you!! Congratulations to all of you:)
Posted by: Jesabes | July 03, 2012 at 10:19 PM
Congratulations!! As someone with three, I will tell you that it is not easy, but it is oh, so wonderful. So happy for you!
Posted by: Becca | July 03, 2012 at 10:20 PM
Ahhhhhh!!!! Hooray!! This is the best news!!!
Posted by: HereWeGoAJen | July 03, 2012 at 10:30 PM
Shut up.
Shut the front door.
Congrats, friend!
I am so happy for you!!!
Posted by: Katie | July 03, 2012 at 10:33 PM
This is so wonderful! Congratulations!!
Posted by: Jackie | July 03, 2012 at 10:34 PM
Oh, I am so happy for you! This just made me teary!
Posted by: Meaghan | July 03, 2012 at 10:44 PM
Oh A'Dell, what an amazing blessing! So thrilled for you guys!
Posted by: Shelby | July 03, 2012 at 11:04 PM
I'm not sure if I've commented before, but I've read for a while and CONGRATULATIONS! I'm so happy for you, and third baby because he or she is so lucky to be born to such a great family!
Once third baby is here, especially for a while, you will laugh at your hesitations! You won't be able to imagine your life without third baby! I felt like going from one to two was SOOO much harder than two to three! At that point my older two could entertain each other some what. When I had my second child, I felt so guilty that my first born never had to share me and now had to adjust. For my third, I didn't feel that because at that point the older two were used to sharing my attention!
Anyway sorry for the novel, just a super long way of saying congratulations and you will be an awesome mom of three!!
Posted by: S | July 03, 2012 at 11:18 PM
What wonderful news. So very happy for you and your family.
Posted by: Bre | July 03, 2012 at 11:26 PM
This is fantastic news, and I am so happy for you guys. If there is anything you need, please, please just tell me. Sending easy pregnancy vibes and overall good wishes.
Posted by: Julie | July 03, 2012 at 11:35 PM
So, so, SO thrilled for you and your family, A'Dell. You and Chris are going to make such amazing parents to this third little one, and Claire and Charlotte such wonderful big sisters. I cannot wait to follow along as things continue to unfold. Also I am totally bringing YOU cake the next time I see you :-)
SQUEEEEEEEE.
Posted by: Miriel | July 03, 2012 at 11:55 PM
I'm ECSTATIC for you and your family (of FIVE)! Such wonderful news. I wish you an enjoyable final pregnancy, an easy labor and delivery and a baby who sleeps. :) So, so happy for you.
Posted by: Miranda | July 04, 2012 at 12:01 AM
Wow! What wonderful news! So happy for you!
Posted by: Michelle | July 04, 2012 at 06:41 AM
Wow, congratulations!
Posted by: Ashley | July 04, 2012 at 06:53 AM
Oh, I am all kinds of teary-eyed over here.
Congrats, Adele. CONGRATS!
Posted by: Ashley // Our Little Apartment | July 04, 2012 at 06:55 AM
Baaaahaa. Clearly it's too early and I haven't had coffee. A'DELL. Not Adele. (Which is, coincidentally, what I would like to name a future daughter. ;))
Posted by: Ashley // Our Little Apartment | July 04, 2012 at 06:56 AM
Oh my god!! Just seeing the Tito
Posted by: Meghan | July 04, 2012 at 07:00 AM
Stupid iPhone, I have no idea who Tito in the above comment is ;)
Anyway, I am beyond excited for you. Congrats!!! Three kids will be so amazing, as will getting to watch Charlotte be a big sister. As for the craziness, even now with 2 I tell myself that it's just a season. I can do anything as long as I know there is an end somewhere in sight. Hope you're feeling good!!
Posted by: Meghan | July 04, 2012 at 07:04 AM
I am SOOOOOO excited for you! What wonderful news! I am two weeks postpartum on number one and I am hormonal-crying up a storm for you :)
Posted by: beth | July 04, 2012 at 07:22 AM
AMAZING News!! Congratulations, A'Dell and Chris. You guys are going to ROCK a family of 5.
Posted by: Sarah in Ottawa | July 04, 2012 at 07:44 AM
Have to comment here too, because the news is too good. Yes, it does get much harder before it gets easier, but it doesn't get as much harder as it did with the second. The third is EASIER than the second. And is generally awesome. And you guys make really cute babies.
Posted by: Dr. Maureen | July 04, 2012 at 08:06 AM
Oh, congratulations! Now I will spend all day telling myself that I definitely probably only want two. Again.
Posted by: Erica | July 04, 2012 at 08:27 AM
Oh, congratulations! This just made me teary with excitement for you guys!
Posted by: Jen | July 04, 2012 at 08:53 AM
YAY! How EXCITING! Congrats!
Posted by: Home Sweet Sarah | July 04, 2012 at 09:12 AM
Wow!!! Congratulations mama! You make beautiful babies, can't wait to see this little one!
Posted by: kirida | July 04, 2012 at 09:18 AM
Normally a lurker, but OMG. So many congratulations are in order!
Posted by: Lynnette | July 04, 2012 at 10:13 AM
Wow A'dell! So happy for you! Sounds like the perfect number of kids for you. :)
Posted by: Christine | July 04, 2012 at 10:19 AM
Congratulations! Awesome story of how your family (of FIVE!) came to be! :)
Posted by: Lacey | July 04, 2012 at 11:01 AM
Congratulations!!
(We just had our third 3 days ago, and so far we're surviving. :)
Posted by: Melissa | July 04, 2012 at 02:48 PM
Oh A'Dell. This post brings me right back to MY "last first trimester" post when I was pregnant with my Charlotte, and all the reasons I was excited to be a family of five (FIVE!) and the car seats and the feeling of completeness and oh ALL OF IT. I am so so happy for you. I'm kinda crying a little. Congratulations. You will love it and you will ROCK IT.
Posted by: Erin G | July 04, 2012 at 03:57 PM
When I announced I was pregnant with the twins (Elise was 19 months old when they were born) my mother said, 'this is the hardest thing you will ever do'. She was right, but the rewards have been tremendous! Congratulations to you A'Dell!
Posted by: Susan Freel | July 04, 2012 at 04:10 PM
Oh congratulations!!! What wonderful, wonderful news! So very happy for you and your whole family.
Posted by: Life of a Doctor's Wife | July 05, 2012 at 09:21 AM
So wonderful on all accounts.
Posted by: Erica | July 05, 2012 at 09:26 AM
My heart is so happy for your family.
Posted by: K | July 05, 2012 at 11:50 AM
Congratulations! the same thing happened to us. Our second was an adorable 13 month old, toddling around, and my husband and I both agreed we wanted another, but "let's wait until he's two to start trying."
I got pregnant that month. Hello, suprisingly early ovulation! You've never happened before or since. It's like God said, "I heard BABY!" Bam.
Anyway, my 2nd and 3rd are 23 months apart. Yes, we had two in diapers. Yes, it was hard. But we even went on to have #4, who is now 1. It's wonderful and incredible and the seats will work out, don't worry.
Posted by: Karen | July 05, 2012 at 12:24 PM
OMG, I'm so far behind I'm just reading about this now! Congratulations!! I'm so happy for you.
Posted by: Carmen | July 05, 2012 at 03:23 PM
Congrats! I shall raise a hurricane in your honor at The Blathering.
Posted by: regan | July 06, 2012 at 09:05 AM
Just seeing this...CONGRATS and OMG!!!!
Posted by: Laura Diniwilk | July 06, 2012 at 01:34 PM
Congrats!! I've been a lurker since right before Charlotte was born, but I just had to comment. As a woman who will likely struggle to get pregnant when the time comes, your post gave me so much hope! I'm so happy for all five of you!
Posted by: Miranda | July 06, 2012 at 10:56 PM
Wow! And YAY! You and the rest of the internet are giving me baby fever!
Posted by: Mama Bub | July 08, 2012 at 12:16 PM
I know I already congratulated you on Twitter, but I am JUST SO SO THRILLED FOR YOU. I get all tingly and teary, and grin from ear to ear about this amazing Third Baby who is on the way. What a fantastic, lovely surprise. Also? The second thing I thought, after YAY!, was, oh, they won't all fit in the airplane. Au revoir, little plane. I'm sad for you on that account. But, BABY! YAY.
Posted by: Roberta | July 09, 2012 at 10:14 AM
Congratulations! What a blessing for your family! Excited to read about all the adventures to come.
Posted by: Heather | July 09, 2012 at 02:15 PM
CONGRATULATIONS!!! This is so exciting and wonderful! I'm so very happy for you and your family.
Posted by: PinkieBling | July 09, 2012 at 03:34 PM
Congratulations to you! My number three was fun - number four was so super easy that I had 5 and 6 in less than a year.
At one point I had three in cloth dipes and a fourth in nighttime dipes as well. You can do it!
I'm SO happy for you!
Posted by: Carmen | July 09, 2012 at 05:42 PM
Awesome! Congrats!
Posted by: regan | July 10, 2012 at 07:51 PM
Woohoo! Congratulations! This is amazing news and I'm so happy for you and your family =)
Posted by: Theresa | July 10, 2012 at 10:23 PM
A belated congratulations! I haven't been reading because I just had my third baby :) I have two girls and a boy...and I had originally hoped for a third girl for all the reasons you are. We did miraculously find a boys name, though, and our friends gave us so much boy clothing I can't store it all. Congratulations again -- I can't stop smiling for you and I don't even know you except through this blog :)
Posted by: Pippi | July 13, 2012 at 11:15 PM