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June 02, 2011


UGH. Ugh ugh ugh. I wish I could give you a BIG GIANT HUG.

Take the days that Jake feels awesome (better?) and just LOVE HIM. I think he will probably let you know when it's time. Really. And keep talking to your vet.

We had a bichon when I was growing up, and he developed hemangiosarcoma. My parents actually opted for chemo. And all of his hair fell out. And he looked like Dobby from the Harry Potter movies and he was SO UGLY but he had no idea. Oh my God I loved him so much. And then he got bad really quickly and you know how this ends. But he had some really good time there and I'm thankful for it. Even if he did look like a hairless cat.

Awww Jake. Give him a pat on the head from the internets.

You are doing the right thing and believe it or not you will know when the time comes. Just enjoy each moment you have with him now and don't spend to much time thinking of when the end will come. You will know when it is time and he will also. You have been given more time with him for know. Treat that like a blessing and treasure each moment.

Oh. Well this is just awful and the decision making must be just so wearing. I'm so sorry. And also, so happy that right now Jake is more like the dog that you love. Hold on to that moment.

A pet IS a beloved member of the family. I'm thinking of you guys... Sending you hugs.

I think you're doing amazingly well. Maybe not as AMAZING as the steroids you're giving Jake, but amazing nonetheless. You guys are such considerate and conscientious pet owners. You're acting in love and in the best interests of your beloved pet, so don't doubt that you're doing the right thing. xo

I don't know how serious you were about telling Claire he's going to a nice farm (the tweet sounded like you were not serious), but I don't think it's the worst idea in the world. Our dog died when I was 2 and I have zero memories of the whole thing. I have no idea what my parents told me, therefore maybe it doesn't matter what they told me?

I'm sure experts still recommend you don't go with the farm story, I'm just saying maybe what you tell her doesn't matter as much as they might say. Maybe it does. I don't know. Mainly I'm trying to go with an encouraging "whatever you do will likely be fine and no method is significantly better than the others" here.

I'm so sorry. I feel the same way about our dogs- even the days they pee on the rug. (GAH! Frustration!) My human kids do the same thing so whatever. There really is no right answer in your situation. I think as long as you end up doing is out of love, no dog could ask for anything better. I hope the day never comes when we will have to make the same decisions about our four legged companions. Good luck to you and your family.

I am so sorry about all of this. My heart breaks for you.

For what it's worth, I think your love for Jake is admirable and that you are handling the situation with a great deal of grace. My thoughts are with you.

I'm sorry, the whole situation sucks.

I think you WILL know when the time is right. My cat of sixteen years died last year (she lived with my sister at this point, but she's always been MY cat) and it was terrible.

I know this is a really big deal, pets are big parts of the family. I will be thinking of all of you.

I read this on my phone at 4am and have been thinking about you ever since. I wrote a long response and my phone ate it...

I'm thinking about you guys.

My dogs helped when I moved to Arkansas and they rescued me from my darkest places during infertility treatments before. I don't know how I will handle it when...

Our dog with very advanced lymphoma was on steroids for about a month and was so happy and peppy and normal. It was beyond awful knowing that he was feeling super good but his days were very numbered. Each day I was thinking....will today be the day he gets bad again? And one day it did and there was no question it was time to take him for his final vet visit. But, oh how we loved on him that last month and was so, so happy. I think that is the most ANY of us can hope for our pet. Big hugs to you.

I think, if anything, it's HARDER with a pet than with a person...because a pet is ALWAYS there for you when you need them. A pet is NEVER too busy for you when you've had a bad day. A pet never chooses another friend over you or has something better come up, you know? Their love is actually unconditional. It's been two years this summer since I had to make the choice to put my Izzy down and I still cry anytime I think about her. I still cry whenever I see a golden retriever that resembles her. STILL. UGH. It's never easy...even when it's a matter of easing their suffering.


I'm here if you need to talk.

That's tough. I wouldn't know what to do either.

I had a cat who was on steroids for months. I'm sure the vet will refill Jake's prescription, so don't worry about that. Pets can surprise you - he may have more time than you think. And yes, you will know when it's time - you'll see it in Jake's eyes. Just remember that helping him on his way is the last, BEST thing that you can do for your friend. He would thank you, if he could.

I'll be thinking of you and your family.

Hope you/he continue to enjoy the time you have. Pets live far too short for us people.

I will de-lurk to agree with RockyCat. Jake will tell you. And because you love him, you won't misinterpret it or miss the message. Clarity is an odd thing. And it happens when it is needed most.

RockyCat and Wendy pretty much summed up everything I was going to say. He'll tell you, and you'll hear him loud and clear. I'm not saying it'll be easy, only that you'll understand it as clearly as you understand when Claire needs a nap or when Charlotte is hungry. You will just know, because your intuition will guide you. Trust yourself.

My grandmother died recently. My son, who is 3, loved her very very much. We told him that Mamaw had to go away, up into the sky, so that she could watch over him all the time, and that he can still talk to her and she can hear him - she just can't talk back. He's okay with that. Every parent has to decide what's best for their children. You know what Claire is capable of understanding, and what your belief set is (heaven, no heaven, etc.). Trust your gut on that one too. As someone else said, she's 2 and she likely won't remember this later in life. You'll do just fine.

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