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December 14, 2010


Read it all. :) Totally agree.

I left my first OB because she kept harassing me about my weight gain. Wanted to do an extra ultrasound to "make sure this baby wasn't getting too big". She even went so far as to ask what I had eaten the day before and when I mentioned 2 pieces of See's Candy she said "Well, there you go. If you admit to 2 pieces you probably ate the box." Um...new doctor thanks.

I gained 35 pounds thank you very much.

Wow. Shocked at what Vanessa wrote and totally nodded my head about what you said about billing cycles. It's these kinds of posts that make me think that of all things I want my kids to have, confidence and a voice are seriously near the top of the list.

Very interested to hear more.

I switched OBs at 30 weeks because while my doc was "on staff" at the University department where I work (so I thought he'd be more 'cool' with me), he made the comment of "You're doing so well, you make me look good!". Yah. You are not doing ANYTHING, bucko. And by the way, something tells me you're not down with the Bradley Method, and when I deny induction and whatnot in 10 weeks, it's not going to be pretty.

The OB that cared for me the last 10 weeks and his partner that delivered me, were awesome. I actually think I'd go with his partner next time, young Indian woman, who was totally easy going and calm while my delivery nurses were freakazoids.

Awesome post and so very, very true. If I had it to do over again, I would change so many things. My OB/GYN for Sprog was awful. I called her the dragon lady. She made me cry many times. She was militant about weight gain (kinda like Vanessa's dr up there) but went so far as to tell me I could only gain 20lbs total. Um. I was 15 lbs under when I started but that apparently wasn't important to her. When I started to deviate from her plan, it was all doom and gloom and how I was going to gain 100lbs that I would never be able to lose.

I gained 37lbs. I had him on a Tuesday and had already lost 22lbs by that Friday.

I read every word! Hear, HEAR! Yes. Just YES. I had very nice, professional OBs that I liked, but switched to a midwife at around 25-ish weeks during my pregnancy, because I just wanted a different model of care. I am tremendously disturbed by how well-educated women do almost nothing to inform themselves about their birth options, and just accept what OBs tell them as the norm - testing, epidurals, lying on your back in a bed during labor, absurd time limits on birth designed for administrative convenience, and not for the well being of the mother and baby. Thanks for this spin on what we should ALL be expecting from our caregivers.

Vanessa! I cannot BELIEVE that your OB said that to you about the Sees candy!! (YUM. SEEEEEES). You should have just given her a face and calmly said, You know what? Youre fired. I dont pay people to talk to me that way.

I'm just glad you found someone you love and you're happy with the outcome. You're certainly reminding me to take my time with things and not rush to find a solution.

(I did/do love my specific doctor and I don't think I could speak more highly of the way she handled my TTC period/pregnancy/labor & delivery but even with ALL THAT SAID, I'd have a hard time returning to that practice (as you know) and if we ever do get pregnant again, I know I'll explore this path you've talked about, definitely.)

She was fired. I just wished I had been more vocal in her office and let her know just what I thought.

We kept leaving her office unhappy and I would ask Brent,"You heard her right? Am I overreacting or did she call me fat?" and he would say I hadn't overreacted. But, then we just kept thinking well, maybe she's mean, but if she's good in delivery we'll deal. SO, one day I asked my Bradley coach if she had ever heard of her and what she was like in the delivery room. She said that one of her former students said while she was in labor she kept telling her to stop being so loud she was scaring other people and trying to push pain meds.

Awful. Just awful.

My new OB was great. Did have a C Section because footling breech, but he tried to turn her. Also, the nurses weren't going to let me leave the hospital for 4 nights because of procedure. He came by and I asked him if I could leave early. He said, "4 nights? Are they crazy? You're healing just fine. The nurses don't make the decisions I do. When do you want to leave?" When I left one of the nurses said she could tell I was "one of those Bradley people" and wondered why I didn't just have a home birth. ????? Yes, nursing and limited meds make me crazy!

Anyway, all this to say lots of OBs suck.

I had two really excellent doctors (a family practice and an OB) and whenever I read what the internet has to say about birth-as-business I feel incredibly lucky!

Also, as you already know, I want to be you when I grow up.

I read every word and I love you and you are so right and this was SO my experience (the second time) and I appreciate you SO MUCH for questioning it and finding another way because it was horrible and I am NEVER going back to that way again.

I really loved this A'Dell. Even though I don't have kids yet, my maniacal planning brain is already thinking about all of these things as we approach that stage and one of the things that I keep coming back to is -- HOLY HELL, HOW AM I GOING TO FIND A DOCTOR THAT WON'T OVERMEDICALIZE AND FREAK ME OUT? I agree with everything you have said, and I'm really excited to hear more about your experience. Really.

I read every word. I love that you took the time to write it (hilariously, btw, even through your rage it's funny) when it's so much of what I think as well... but frankly am too exhausted to even try to write. I start thinking about everything I hate about the medical system and it just zaps the mental energy out of me and shoots my nerves.

But this is well-articulated and I loved reading it.

If I wasn't so enamored with the damned epidural, I'd be using a midwife too.

I read it! (Because it was AWESOME, thank you!)

Quite honestly, I haven't had a particularly pro-active approach to my OB care, I think because I'm relatively pleased with my office. I meet with a nurse-practitioner midwife who I LOVE, but only because when given the option between meeting with her or my regular GYN, I picked the nicer person.

Unfortunately she's in-office only and doesn't do births, but I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

But until then (and in between now and then) you've given me a lot to think about, so thank you again!

I had a mediocre practice last time. My main problem with them was that they believed that I was stupid and uneducated (we had a six day discrepancy between when they said my due date was and when I said my due date was, my body does not actually behave according to their little wheel thing). But I understood why they thought I was stupid and uneducated because of the demographic where their office was located. I was probably one of the only patients they had who understands how that wheel works.

But, next time, if there is a next time, I'd like a little better, now that we've moved and I have a few more options (I hope I have more options anyway, I haven't checked yet, but it couldn't be worse). I don't know that I would be comfortable with a midwife, but I don't know that I won't either. I am looking forward to hearing more about your experience.

I am going to switch practices next time though if I have to have another argument about their stupid wheel. (Me: "First of all, I don't have a 28 day cycle. And even if I did, how are you inputting a start date of something that occurred on a Monday and coming up with 40 weeks later happening on a Thursday? And does that wheel have leap year included on it?")

I really wanted a midwife when I was switching doctors with my second pregnancy. I figured that would be the best way to get a VBAC. I found out that there are two midwife groups here (relatively small town Colorado)-- one my insurance doesn't cover (having just been laid off, out of pocket wasn't an option) and one doesn't do VBACS. At all. I was pretty surprised about that.

Fortunately the midwife I had a consult with (at no-VBACS practice) referred me to an OB practice here in town where all the doctors do VBACS. And as it turned out, my OB was great. She didn't blink when I came in for the first time at 20 weeks. She didn't recommend a whole bunch of tests. She didn't worry when it looked like was borderline for gestational diabetes. She didn't put on any pressure about my Christmas eve due date. I will definitely be going back next time.

I'm so bummed that I didn't read something like this before I had my babies. I had really good experiences with both of them - except feeling quite a bit of pressure to induce once I was at 40 weeks ("much higher risk of c-section", she said several times, preying on my fears). I can't wait to hear more about your midwife!

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