If the cost of preschool shocks me, I don't even want to know what college is going to cost in 2028. DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME.

Let's talk daycare and preschool for a little bit, shall we?  Claire has been in the same daycare since she was 3 months old. 

The facility is across the street from my office, offers a discount because of where I work and is unbelievably convenient for me to pick up and drop off.  Our old house was on that side of town and it was also on the way to work for Chris. It was a great first daycare for Claire AND us.

And yet.

There were always THINGS about the facility that irked me.  The director always seemed more interested in pacifying me rather than giving me a solid, actionable answer.  She and her staff seemed to alternately panic about illness ("Your kid is kind of hot. AIEEE! Take her home!") or be completely nonplussed ("Swine Flu? Yeah, we plan to...sanitize toys? If someone gets it?  It's just the flu -- no big deal!").  The name of the school had a misspelled word in it, I think to make them "unique," but I couldn't shake the feeling that it was an error I was giving them too much credit for.

Their policies and procedures seemed contrived at times.  After one year you get 5 days of "vacation" free.  I asked for it and was told I had to give 30 days notice and take it all in the same calendar week. Really?

They give the kids crap for snacks and encourage parents to bring in all kinds of HFCS-laced monstrosities for birthdays (every week it seems). The "teachers" are kind, but too-young and sometimes a bit flip for me. They don't really seem on the up-and-up.  They told me she was behind on her vaccinations but failed to understand that combination vaccines take care of more than one disease. 

Keep in mind that I collected all of these anecdotes over 18 months; one offense last year wasn't enough for me to leave, but now? Ugh, now I'm annoyed and I feel like I have to double check them constantly on administrative topics.

As an infant it was an ideal place for her. But as a toddler, my viewpoint changed dramatically.  I didn't want her eating CHEETOS for afternoon snack when I'd packed blueberries.  And yet, there she was, with fake powdered cheese all over her face one day.  I cringed when I saw the garish cupcakes and store-bought brick of fake rice-krispie treats another parent had brought in for a birthday.  

When the receptionist told me that she had hand foot and mouth disease (Oh? You're a doctor AND a receptionist? That's incredible!) and that I needed to keep her home for DAYS, even though CDC policy on the virus in a group childcare setting said she absolutely DID NOT, I was annoyed for days. 

She even had the gall to say, "CDC?"

I literally said, in my most "holy crap, you are an idiot" voice,

"THE UNITED STATES CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL?  SURELY YOU HAVE HEARD OF IT AND ARE FAMILIAR WITH THEIR POLICIES ON THE TOPIC SINCE THAT IS YOUR MOTHER FUCKING JOB."

(Okay, maybe I didn't say "mother fucking".  But I was thinking it and my tone said it for me.)

I thought about, and shopped for, another solution many times.  In the end I always came back to the killer rate, the location close to my office, the fact that I seemed to be able to mitigate the unhealthy snacks most days (I know that I can't shield her from Cheetos and crappy baked good forever) and even though the director might be kind of dim, it isn't hurting Claire, it was just annoying the crap out of me.  She isn't being HARMED by staying there during the day.  On the contrary, many days she REFUSED TO LEAVE and Tantrum Claire greeted me with "NO, NO, NO! NO GO HOME! WANT TO PLAY!"

(I'm happy to see you too, Claire.)

When we moved last March, the location was no longer desirable, so they only had the rate working for them at this point.  I was the only one who could pick up/drop off.  While this hasn't been SO difficult (after all, I do go to work every day) it would be better if she was closer to the house so we could have more flexibility.

I wondered if I was being too picky about the whole thing.  Too snobby?  Unrealistic, perhaps? Eh, maybe.  My threshold for stupid is low.  But it doesn't change the fact that I want what I want. 

I started shopping the preschools and daycare facilities near the new house.  To my absolute HORROR, they all cost at least 20% more.  ALL OF THEM, without exception, with plenty costing 30% and 40% more.  Moving 20 miles to a legit suburb with a grocery store down the street means that daycare costs an ASTRONOMICAL amount here.

I was not prepared for that.  I reconsidered the situation.  Two months went by.  I continued to be alternately annoyed and fine. They introduced Claire to Froot Loops.  I made a face.

And that brings us to last week when I was doing some casual Googling with a new set of keywords.  I found what looked like a promising place, just around the corner.  We took a tour and it was HEAVEN.  Just like the Belinda Carlisle song: HEAVEN ON EARTH. It was that amazing.

The lunches are catered in by a local company, locally sourced and nothing is fried.  They'll allow me to pack a lunch for her. (Weirdly enough, that has been a challenge to find; a lot of places are playing the Allergy Card and telling me that it's too risky to allow parents to bring in lunch because of The Kids With Peanut and Wheat and Egg and Milk Allergies.  I understand that, but, uh, what you're feeding them is not healthy, you idiots.  It's basically school lunch from the Sysco truck and we know how messed up THAT is.  I was tempted to tell them that my child is allergic to HFCS and corn products in general, and see what they did what that information.) 

The school we looked at has a blanket no-sugary snacks policy.  There's a library with a ton of books and tiny sofas with wee ottomans.  There's an indoor gym with a parachute, hula hoops and a PE teacher. There's a music room that has a Julliard graduate teaching kids how to, I don't know, ding a triangle or something while she plays the BABY GRAND PIANO.  (I wonder if she thinks this is a good use of her education?) 

The kids take Spanish and Mandarin Chinese language lessons twice a week.  (This is hysterical to me since it's the dictionary definition of a Snobtastic Preschool. It's something you'd read in The Nanny Diaries. Chinese and Spanish for a 21-month-old! Heeeee!)  There's a garden outside that the kids dig around in.  They have extra classes that rotate every few weeks; dance, karate, origami (no, wait, I made that last one up -- but you believed it, DIDN'T YOU?!).  They do BABY YOGA every day at 3p, which makes me laugh because it's so obviously stupid and a parent marketing trick and yet I'm strangely attracted to it.

BABY YOGA!  YES!  I AM INTERESTED!  SIGN US UP!

It's bright, cheery and happy and less than one mile from our house. The director claims to be a germaphobe and I love that.

BUT. There is a huge BUT. (You knew that was coming, right?)

It's a full 33% more expensive than where she is now.  A THIRD. How is this even possible?!?!  It was nice, but the kids weren't like, eating off of solid gold plates or anything. (Maybe they're paying that music teacher more than I think.)

It's also a Montessori school, and I'm not quite sure what I think about that.  I'm still forming an opinion and I'd love yours if you have one. (Either way, good or bad, please pipe up if you have thoughts.)

So, I'm back where I started.  Again.  I like the piano-yoga-chinese-origami school but it's too expensive.  I'm more okay with the price at more run-of-the-mill facilities in the area (even though they're 20% more) but I have really, really strong feelings about that food they give them. I hate it.  I think it's unhealthy.  I don't want her to eat that every day.

*SIGH*

Preschool.  Nobody told me it would be so full of drama.

Comments

[Natalie]

I love that you are becoming a food snob because of your daughter. Are the menus seasonal??

The bullion kids go to Montessori school, and Melissa went to one...and she is the managing partner of her law firm. Is that good or bad?

Good luck! If you ever need an in-home chef, let me know. I use no HFCS in my menus, and I come with unlimited Sauvignon Blanc.

[Morgan S.]

Day care.....ayayayayayya. My girls go to a fabulous place by our house. I have few complaints, only that rate charged for the two of them at their age is FAR LESS than our monthly mortgage and, sadly, that rate is $200 less A WEEK than the place next to my office. Not that I would drive into downtown with them. I too have been peeved by the birthday treats and been told flat out I am not allowed to bring home backed goods, since the ingredients must be listed on the package (**shakes fist a peanut and wheat, etc. allergies) and I hate that they eat those god awful store bakery cupcakes (GAG!). But, really, I that is my worst complaint? I have nothing to complain about.

PS - I am curious about the spelling of the school name now! Is it like Ye Olde Wee Tot Place of Joy?

[Raven]

Sprog was in Montessori (I mentioned this on Twitter) when he went to Daycare. I tried other Daycares first, when I went back to work after staying home with him for 16 months. He came down with RSV at the first one and contracted Pneumonia at the second. Montessori was as much as our first two bedroom apartment, but vs the possible medical bills? I didn't care.

By the time he was two, he was speaking Spanish. Before he left there, he could name all 50 states (this was Kindergarten age mind you) and point them out correctly on an unlabeled map, he handed me this thing that looked like a marble (to me, gosh mom is DUMB) and then proceeded to point out the layers of the Earth (mantle, crust, inner and outer core) they did field day, had a clean-up song which meant he would clean-up his stuff and a Spring musical where my son played a sunflower (SO FREAKING ADORABLE) they had art programs and did gymnastics at the gym right behind the school. THEY POTTY TRAINED HIM IN LESS THAN A WEEK. My BOY was potty trained in less than a week, with no accidents.

I could walk in there at any time, unannounced and see what was going on, which made me feel super comfortable. It was like 14 years ago so the whole food allergy thing wasn't really a big deal then, I can't remember what the food policy even was.

All the great stuff being said, there was but one problem. They do (or did that long ago) centers of individual study on mats (for most of their stuff). Which is SUPER AWESOME for breeding independent children, but not so great when it comes to time constraints of public kindergarten. Sprog had a slightly bumpy transition when he suddenly went from having as much time as he wanted to take going from one project to the next, to having finite amounts of time for each task. That's why I recommend having them out before Kindergarten. He was a mid-year transfer and that just didn't go well at all. (My husband wasn't convinced about moving him period and it delayed it actually happening as it should've)

[AmyM (LnCsMom)]

That school actually sounds pretty great (the not-always-healthy-food with the no-outside-food policy and the Pre-K literacy curriculum are the only things I don't love about our current day care). If you've visited it and you are quite happy with it, and you think Claire would be happy there, and you can afford it, I'd go for it! Although some kids don't really thrive in Montessori schools (my daughter would LOVE it but I think my son would HATE it), you know Claire best so follow your gut. The only other "what if" I'd keep in mind if I were you....is what if you have another child? Does this school take infants and if so, can you afford 2 at this school? If they don't take infants, how easy/difficult will it be to have 2 kids at 2 different centers for a while? Good luck with your decision.

[Heather]

Oh WOW! I'm just sitting here in shock.

Katherine goes to the preschool at our church one day a week just for fun...and I pack her lunch. Everyone brings their own lunch and it HAS to have one fruit and one veggie according to their policy. And they don't allow peanuts at all but that is the only restriction.

I'm ok with a kid being exposed to cheetos and fruit loops - but by the PARENT or with explicit parent approval. I can't imagine feeding someone's child something like that without asking first...

I guess I like my ignorant bliss over here...

[Pippi]

I'd suck it up and pay more unless it makes working completely pointless. It sounds like it's something that's important to you and some things are worth paying the extra. In my book I'll pay a lot more (some people would definitely call it ridiculously more) for quality food, quality childcare, and a walkable neighborhood. I remember my mother telling me a few years ago that our montessori preschool/daycare cost as much as the mortgage when my sister and I were little. It was completely worth it, though. We were academically and emotionally very ready for school and my preschool teacher there became so close to our family that she was a guest at my wedding.

[craftyashley]

I KNOW! I wanted to write a thing about the craziness of preschool, but two of my close friends run preschools. So I didn't. I never knew that sending the twins to preschool would be more expensive than my car payment! I don't need it for all day, I'd just like them to get a taste of kindergarten so they don't have a coronary when they're 5. They don't have a ton of opportunities to socialize with other kids their age, mostly just older or much younger kids, and they are completely unaware of a structured classroom setting. I was hoping for just a couple hours, twice a week? But seriously, I have to shell out $300+? I ALMOST DIED.

And on the whole Montessori thing. I am skeptical. My friend is a certified Montessori chick or whatever, and I've talked to her about it. It sounds WAY too un structured. I'm pretty sure that they'll get to Kindergarten and freak out about having to COLOR INSIDE THE LINES! I'm all for learning at your own pace and fostering creativity- but I'm fairly certain the Montessori method fosters annoying brats who want it all about them and don't want to have to follow anything called a RULE.

So that's my take on it. There's no way I want to homeschool. But I'd also like to keep our house. So I guess they'll just start off with Kindergarten, and if they get behind in class, I will actually have to parent... I'm sure I can handle kindergarten level concepts.

[Arina]

This is interesting to me, as I'm hoping to get D in preschool starting in the fall. I don't know much about Montessori, but you've definitely made me aware in terms of asking about snacks/food/treats. Adding some questions to my list...

[Natalie]

We have G at a Montessori school and we LOVE it. It's actually really structured; kids have specific areas to work with ("there are four main Montessori tenets" blah blah blah) and kids are encouraged to choose what interests them, then guided towards what they need to work on. I think the structure works really well for the kind of kid she is; part of Montessori is being guided by the older kids in the class and she loves that. What Ashley is referring to above sounds more like a Waldorf school... really unstructured and based on creativity; Montessori is very different.
It sounds like you are ready for a change and that you really like the potential of the place you've found. Good luck with the decision!

[Katie]

We are starting preschool for Will in September and when we looked around, we found the best rates and care seemed to be at local churches. Some of them required potty training or the children to be three, but I looked high and low and found one that accepted two year olds that weren't potty trained. It's LOTS cheaper than any other alternative and they do have a full time program (we are just doing mornings, two days per week), so I think there would be something similar in your neck of the woods?

[KLTTX]

Montessori seems too granola for me. All of the people that I know that teach that method are "different" (not wrong, just different from me and my beliefs). Samuel goes to a regular daycare. I don't worry too much about the food they are feeding him. I am just glad when he eats anything. I know a lot of people who's kids went to the Children's Courtyard in your neighborhood and I've heard great things about it. Does the cost of the montessori include before and after-school care? I know when Davis went to private Pre-K, the cost did not include the summer or anything before/after school. Good luck with your choice.

[Maggie]

This whole conversation gives me hives. My two requirements for preschool were: 1) cheap and 2)close to my house. Thank God he won't eat lunch there because I hadn't even THOUGHT about the food. GAAAHHH.