are things complicated yet?

Miscellaneous thoughts about lookin' hot and fitting into my pants

This week I rose at 5 am twice and went to the gym.  The first time I played around in the weight room and ran a little bit and the second time I took a class.

My butt hurts.  My arms vaguely ache.  I have more energy.  I'm noticing that I make better choices when it comes to food, since working out in the morning sets a nice tone for the day.

Shameful confession: I haven't worked out consistently in more than a year.  When I got pregnant I was so freaked out about jostling anything around or shocking my system I actually refused to go to the gym.  I wanted to sit and gestate safely from a seated position.  Preferably, with a donut.  (Man, I ate a LOT of donuts when I was pregnant.  It was awesome)

I had Claire in October 2008.  I gained about 30 pounds while I was pregnant and by my 6-week appointment after she was born, it was all gone.  I was a bit mushy in many places and things had sort of shifted around, but the whole number on the scale was the same it had been.

I felt kind of proud about that.  (Especially since I'd done exactly NOTHING to rid myself of those 30 pounds, except give birth.)  I was pretty sure that some more weight would MIRACULOUSLY slide off in the upcoming months as I got more active, went back to work and continued to nurse. 

Eh, that kind of didn't happen.  At all.  Nine months after I last stepped on a scale at my OB's office I was a little horrified to see the EXACT SAME NUMBER.  I don't own a scale so I'd been waltzing about all those months without a clue as to what I actually weighed.  Oh sure, my pants were still kind of tight but I had given away all my clothes and bought new ones, so my point of reference was a bit skewed.

But, back to the gym.  If I've learned anything about my weight, eating and exercise habits over the past ten years these two things are constant:

• I like sugar.
• I am incapable of motivating myself to exercise efficiently and effectively on my own.  I just can't do it on a long-term basis.

I took a class three mornings a week last August, with a Barbie lookalike trainer that I hated because she is so freaking thin and hot but I loved because she's so nice and freaking GOOD at her job.  I remember the first day she told me, "I know it's tough to come back after a baby, but I'll get you there."

Even though I suspect that it took her about 5 hours after her daughter was born to look uh-freaking-mazing again, it's the sentiment that's nice.  I would much rather be instructed by a stick-thin woman who has experienced birth, than a 19-year-old trainer who thinks 8 hours of partying is the most exhausted she's ever felt.

I did lose some weight and things tightened up, but then Christmas happened and, well, PIE.

ANYWAY.  I HAVE A POINT.  SWEAR.

My friend Natalie has always spent more money on food than anyone I know.  A long time ago, I thought this was kind of dumb.  She was clearly wasting beer money on vegetables. 

This was before I discovered locally grown produce, grass fed beef, pesticides, HFCS, the gospel of Michael Pollan and Barbara Kingsolver and the general ickiness that is our industrialized food supply.  It was before I had a lot of time on my hands to read the internet.  To buy REAL ACTUAL FOOD you almost always have to pay more.  Natalie buys real food and never feels bad about it, never apologizes for it and actively seeks it out.  And now, I do too.

What I eat impacts EVERYTHING else in my life.  My mood, attitude, clarity of thought, ability to fight infection, quality of life and longevity of life.  Why on EARTH would I want to routinely put something sub-par in me that will only fill me up, will likely have adverse impact on my body at some point, is certainly nutritionally devoid and only accomplishes the goal of making me feel "full" for the next two hours and will give me a headache later on to boot? I'm not saying I don't eat cheeseburgers (because I DO) but I try to really limit the processed crap to an absolute minimum and that costs money.

So, same thing with the exercise.  It's time to spend.

I have this one life and I am eager to get in my hot jeans sooner rather than later.  I think a legit-for-real trainer who yells at you Jillian-style costs a couple hundred bucks every few weeks.  Would I pay $500 to someone if they could guarantee that in 12 weeks I'd be able to fit into all my pants?  YES I WOULD. In this context, it's sort of a no-brainer.  (How much does it cost to buy a new wardrobe?  Yeah...about the same.)

It amuses me to no end the lengths people will go to and the money they will spend on "easy ways to lose weight."  Yet, hiring a trainer or a nutritionist are "too much" in both time and money. 

But, wait...How much are people spending on Clif bars and Slim Fast shakes and everything else that makes up the diet culture in America?  A lot! 

Why do we think that spending money on PEOPLE to help us be healthy is wrong?  Why are PRODUCTS the preferred purchase here?  I think it has a lot to do with the notion that people want to do it themselves....That it has something to do with will-power, self worth and proving something to yourself and everyone around you.

I long ago realized that some people are experts at what they do and if I have a need for an expert?  I'd best find one and pay up if I want the job done right the first time.

Thinking about weight loss and my favorite jeans in this sense...how much would I pay to have my 22-year-old body back?  I think I'd pay a couple grand, on the spot, no questions asked if someone told me I could do it in six months and they'd teach me how to eat and yell at me to work out, customized for me, my motivations and weak spots.

I have to get this move over with first, but I see myself spending a lot more time on ME in 2010.

I'd like you to meet my Super Smart Scientist Friends, Holly and Jenni. Today's topic: Influenza Vaccines!

Today we will be talking to my two smartest friends, Holly and Jenni.

Holly is a super smart scientist with a BA in Biology/Chemistry and an MS in Cell, Molecular and Developmental Biology.  She is working on a targeted influenza vaccine: ideally, anything that invades the body could be better "fought" if the immune response was prepared correctly at the point of entry.  (At least, that's what I pasted from her email.  I had to read it a few times to get the gist.)

I think that also means she enjoyed dissecting the frog in biology class in ninth grade.  Also, it looks like Holly enjoys homework because DAMN THAT IS A LOT OF SCHOOL.

Jenni is ALSO a super smart scientist with a Ph. D. in Genetics and Veterinary Pathology.  She works for St Jude in Memphis and runs a lab that studies secondary bacterial infections that are a result of influenza.  She enjoys Punnett Square drinking games.

(Just kidding, Jenni enjoys good old-fashioned beer pong as much as the rest of us do.  She's not THAT nerdy.)

(Also, wow, there is no way I could ever go back to school for as long as you two did.  You are awesome.)

Together, they form my Super Smart Scientist Friends and they will forever and always be on-call for all of my influenza related questions. 

Today they're providing me with anecdotal advice that is intended for my personal use as close friends who are giving me their opinion based on the aforementioned decades in school and years of professional work "in the field."  (Is that what they call it when you have to get federal clearance to work with certain viruses?) I'm sharing it with you because I think it's interesting.

This is not intended to give you information to make important medical decisions.  You should always talk to your doctor about those.  (Bloggers make very poor doctors.)

***

Holly, you're pregnant!  Congratulations!  Your kid is going to be so freaking SMART.  So, you are totally not going to get that weird H1N1 vaccine, are you?  I mean, it's all new and strange and unfamiliar and not tested on pregnant ladies.  Sounds risky, right?

I am definitely getting the H1N1 flu vaccine.  I've had seasonal flu vaccines before, with no ill effects, and because I am pregnant, I can help protect the baby with my vaccination and also by BF'ing afterwards.  The baby will be born at the end of February, right when the flu could be serious business, and we may be unable to get the vaccine at that point.

Hmm.  Really?  But it's....new.  And untested.  Doesn't that freak you out?  I mean, I have heard STORIES about vaccines.  Stories on THE INTERNET.

They prepare it the same way as they do the seasonal vaccine - it's a dead bit of the virus, so if anything, it just might not work effectively. There is always the risk of Guillen-Barre Syndrome, but you could get that with any flu vaccine.

That's what a lot of the hoopla is about; back in the 70's with the "first swine flu" this was associated with the vaccine. People are concerned it would happen again. But, it's always a risk. Basically, if your immune system is primed in a unique way, it could rebel against you. You can't do anything to stop it.  Other things can trigger that response too, so it's not a unique risk to the vaccine.

But Holly.  Seriously, they whipped this up faster than a box of brownies.  That just seems...weird.  What if they totally screwed it up?

You're probably worrying a bit much if your concerns are that they "prepared this too fast."  If they had known about H1N1 back in February or March, they would have included it in with the regular seasonal flu vaccine anyway. (I'm not sure if people would have felt better about it in that situation or not though.) The seasonal flu vaccine has the "top picks" of the season in it; several strains (I can't remember how many) all in one go. The H1N1 vaccine will just have the one.

Jenni, what do you think?  I've seen you work with those test tubes and giant droppers with petri dishes.  I know you mean business when you boss around your research underlings.  What's the word at St Jude?

I highly advise all of you getting both flu shots.  If you're worried about giving the H1N1 vaccine to Claire, at a minimum you and Chris should get it to help keep from passing it on to Claire.

The last time a swine flu circulated and was included in the vaccine formula was 1976.  With the new H1N1 strains circulating, our age group has the highest mortality rate, likely because we weren't around for exposure back than and don't have any immunity to it.

The CDC has a really great website that is updated weekly.  That is the website we use to follow the epidemiology for this flu season, and you don't have to be a scientist to understand it. 

http://www.cdc.gov/flu/weekly/fluactivity.htm

You should all also get the pneumococcal vaccine.  I got mine last month, it made my arm really sore for a couple of days, but no other side effects for me.  I didn't run a fever from this year's seasonal flu shot either, and I usually do.

I don't know a ton about the H1N1 vaccine production, but it should be made just as the seasonal flu vaccine.  I know that the swine isolates don't grow well in eggs (which is the traditional method for producing vaccine strains), so it may have been grown differently, but shouldn't be a big deal. 

I am actually impressed with how quickly they are getting this vaccine out.  Sanofi-Aventis shipped their first batches yesterday.

Um, ok.  Got it.  You both think we should all get seasonal flu shots and at a minimum Chris and I get the H1N1 vaccine.  You think it's safe and the benefit outweighs the risk.  Point being that even if we don't give the H1N1 vaccine to her, we can provide a sort of "mini-herd" protection to Claire and not bring H1N1 home from work.

So, guys, what should I worry about then?  Because I'm feeling like I need to worry about something.

Jenni:  Just constantly wash your hands anytime you're out of the house and as soon as you get home!  And I mean wash them: with warm water and for at least 30 seconds.  Take the time to wash your hands before you eat and try not to rub your eyes or stick your fingers in your mouth!!

Holly: You're absolutely right about secondary infections being the real concern. Remember that is also takes 2 weeks for the vaccine to "kick in" for full protection.

And any nasal-spray "flu-mist" should be avoided - it's just weakened live vaccine, pretty much guaranteed to make you at least a little sick.

I've already had my seasonal flu shot (beginning of Sept), and managed to avoid catching whatever my husband brought home from his dirty high schoolers. He was out for a solid weekend. Stuff is already flying all around So Cal. 

Dude, I bet high schoolers aren't any dirtier than kids at daycare.

You'd be surprised.

Any other thoughts, Super Smart Scientist Friends?

What irritates me the most is that I feel we shouldn't even have to worry about vaccinating very young children for flu.  If adults were more responsible and got vaccinated themselves we could provide a better herd immunity and shield the little ones that way.

Instead, you worry about all the idiots who go to work sick, out in public sick, whatever, exposing the vulnerable ones.

Agree Holly.  Totally agree.  Sick adults who traipse into the office and grocery store as if they are soooo important they can't be bothered to stay home and keep their germs to themselves are complete morons.

***

This concludes today's interview with Super Smart Scientist Friends.  If you have additional questions for SSSF please leave them in the comments and I'm sure they'd be happy to weigh in.

What's my take after talking to my smarty-pants buddies?  My entire family will get seasonal flu vaccines next week as planned.  At the very least Chris and I will get the H1N1 vaccine.  I feel pretty solid that it's safe and not a wacky last-minute effort that might accidentally have antifreeze in it. 

I'm going to talk next week to our pediatrician about giving it to Claire, but my gut is leaning towards giving it to her.

I don't want to get sick.  I don't want my family to get sick.  Even though I know we could still all get the flu, I think the benefit outweighs the potential risk for us.

Doctors. THEY ARE CROOKS.

I have become totally and utterly convinced that most doctors are just crooks.  These people are supposed to be helping you and really?  What they're thinking about?  IS MONEY. 

MONEY MONEY MONEY

It's all about getting as many patients in and out and billed as possible.  And that is really sad.  It must be difficult to pay attention to patients and help them when all you're trying to do is bill as much as you possibly can and get to the high-margin stuff.

Incident #1

For Claire's 4-month well-baby visit she was supposed to get some immunizations.  Rotavirus, Pentacel and Prevnar.

Pentacel and Prevnar are brand names for combined vaccinations. 

They were out of Prevnar that day.  So I came back the next week.  And then they were out of Pentacel. 

!!!!!  (THANKS FOR CALLING ME TO TELL ME THAT.)

The nurse told me that she could give Claire the 3 vaccines that make up Pentacel separately though.  I hesitated, not having the information on those vaccines at my fingertips and knowing that I had specifically chosen the combined vaccines for a reason.  (Although the precise reason was escaping me at the moment.)  I said no, I was concerned about  reducing her exposure to aluminum and since I didn't have all the information on those individual vaccines I didn't want to do it.

The nurse pushed.  "But I HAVE these vaccines!"  She was chipper.  "It's just the same.  The Pentacel is just all three mixed up.  They're the same - just separate."

And that is just flat untrue.  Whether she was deliberately lying to me or just plain uninformed I don't know.  (Did she feel like she needed to get rid of some of their individual vaccines since most parents prefer the combined?  Can they bill more for giving them separately?) Even after I mentioned that I was concerned about aluminum exposure, she didn't even mention anything about it to try and allay my concerns.

But the fact remains that what she told me was just untrue.  And I don't need my pediatrician's nurse telling me things that are false.

For a variety of reasons, the primary one being that their office is too far from our house, I had already decided that this 4-month visit was going to be our last with them.  Now it's really clear that we need to leave because I don't think they have their shit together.

Incident #2

I called today to get a copy of her records sent to me.  Partly because I just want to see what's in there and partly because it will be easier for me to hand-deliver a copy to her new pediatrician.

The person I spoke to on the phone asked me who the records were for.  I said "Me."  And he told me that it was "against state law" to release her records to me.  The parent.

I was aghast.  I pushed him - against state law?  Really?  Was he certain?  He was firm and repeated the policy/law stipulation.  I asked to speak to someone else.

While on hold I did some simple Googling and discovered the exact piece of information I needed.

The Texas Medical Practice Act, Section 5.08(K) specifically allows

"...a patient to obtain a copy of his records, or ask that a copy be sent to a new doctor or someone else, such as an insurance company. This law requires a physician to release copies of a patient's medical records."

When he got back on the phone to tell me that the office manager was busy I let him know that state law actually says he HAS to release these records to me and I cited the specific piece of legislation.  And he sort of stumbled around and said he'd never heard of that before and he had always been told they could not release records to patients.

RED FLAG!

Is this practice making it a first-line-of-defense policy to deny records to patients directly?  Are they trying to prevent litigation through the unlawful retention of information?  Will they only release records to patients who are informed about their rights?

I don't know.  It seems so...devious.  But on the other hand, I wouldn't be at ALL surprised.  It's the sort of thing that makes your insides curl up in disgust but also the sort of thing that you see routinely enough in the headlines and just hope it doesn't happen to you.

And now, the search for a new pediatrician begins.  UGH.

I was OK with the belly being bigger but my feet? MY FEET?! This is PERMANENT.

My feet are bigger.  That is, they GREW while I was pregnant.  Not a freakish amount, but just enough so that all of my shoes with closed toes (that is, every single pair that is suitable for the winter months) are uncomfortably tight.

I knew this might happen.  When you're pregnant all of your ligaments loosen up thanks to the hormones, so your hips can Make Way For Baby.  But this can also loosen up everything in your feet too.  Permanently.

The boots I put on this morning?  Are only on my feet because of a sad/hilarious fight I had with them on the floor this morning while my daughter cried in her crib because her mobile stopped twirling.  I hobbled to her room with my foot sort-of in one boot, cranked the mobile back up and then finished the shoe fight on the floor of her room.

I felt like Cinderella's ugly step-sister trying desperately to cram her foot into a shoe that was obviously far too small.

So, in addition to the probably permanent wider hips and the definite (temporary) bigger belly that isn't quite what it used to be and the bigger stuff going on up top since I'm nursing, I am feeling rather, um, FAT. 

Fat because I just had a baby and that's a really good reason to feel that way but still.  I DO NOT LIKE.

And the really horrible part is that the number on the scale is a totally fine number!  It's only a handful of pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight and at 6 weeks out that's decent.  But my body is just...not shaped even in a similar manner at all.  Everything has redistributed to new places. 

I don't know how to dress this new body except in pajamas.  And since I'm not pregnant any more people are a lot less understanding about me wanting to wear them everywhere.

I am discovering that my winter clothes don't fit.  Every article I put on my body is this horrible psychological trauma to my ego.  I know I was all Miss Braggy about those jeans I fit into a few weeks ago but I've since discovered that those are actually the ONLY pre-pregnancy pants that fit.  They're Freak Jeans - not to be trusted as an actual measurement of progress.

Manda was right when she said that breastfeeding isn't a free pass to eat whatever you want.  This is curious because it's all anyone ever told me.  "Oh, if you breastfeed the weight just FALLS RIGHT OFF." 

Humph.  LIARS.

I've got several weeks before I go back to work and I am really hoping that my body catches up to my working wardrobe.  I am excercising now that I'm all recovered from The Trauma That Is Childbirth and I have also sworn off my mortal enemy: cookies.

Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is my old body back.  Thank you.  Love, A'Dell

They should make a recruiting commercial out of this

Unless you're a family friend, you probably don't know that in addition to being very clever and hilarious, my father is a retired Marine Corps officer and a veteran of Desert Storm.

I'm immensely proud of his more than 20 years of service to our nation and the high level of integrity and excellence that his career in the military was punctuated with.  He has navigated minefields on foot, shot and been shot at, and slept in a hole in the desert for weeks at a time.

I think he's an amazing person.

*******

Flash forward to last weekend in Houston:

My easy-going parents are at the Johnson Space Center playing tourist for the weekend.  They entered the parking lot and the attendant collecting money spied the sticker on the windshield that lets you on base and announces that you are military personnel to all who care to see.

Elderly Gate Person: "Active duty?"

Dad: "Nope, retired."

Elderly Gate Person: "Got an ID?"

*flashes military ID*

Elderly Gate Person: "Yep, go on in.  You don't need to pay the $5 to park."

Dad looks at Mom as they drive in and makes this wry observation:

"Well, I guess all those weeks of sleeping in a hole are finally paying off."

I used to think geckos were cute and now I just want to smoosh them

We have a gecko problem.  This kind of gecko (not my finger) has been roaming our home with alarming frequency:

The first time I saw one of the tiny one-inch translucent creatures skittering around the house I exclaimed at how CUTE the BABY GECKO was and implored Chris to humanely capture him and set him free outside.

The second time I saw one it scared the bejeezus out of me when I almost stepped on it.  (With my bare foot - ew ew ew ew ew!)

The third time I saw one I had just picked up a book to read and the damn thing literally fell out of the pages.  Its tail promptly fell off and proceeded to garishly wiggle independently of its body on the carpet.   The rest of the gecko ran away. 

After that I was just grossed out and annoyed with the damn creatures and asked Chris WHY DO WE HAVE SO MANY GECKOS and HOW DO WE RID OURSELVES OF THEM?  They cannot continue cohabitating with me - no matter how many bugs they might be eating. 

One gecko was fine.  A pet even.  I might have named him James or something.  But three?  Or more?  No, that's too many.  That grosses me out.

A Google search for "how to get rid of geckos" revealed that "Geckos were on the rise in Texas in summer 2007 due to unusual rains and humidity."  Great. 

The site also says we should plug any ways they're getting in the house.  Aside from any obvious holes in the structure (which, hello, wouldn't you fix those anyway?) how the hell do you protect your home from a creature that's less than an inch long and thinner than a pencil with flexible bones that can fit itself anywhere?  HOW? 

They also recommend keeping the house colder than 65 at night. 

Ha.  Yes.  Excellent suggestion.  Very realistic this time of year.

So, my dear internet.  Any tips besides covering my house with sealing caulk and spending thousands to keep the house at 65 degrees all summer?  Anyone?

Because if I see another tail wiggling without a body?  I might vomit.  Or go into premature labor.  Or something else overly dramatic.

A priceless commodity

I stumbled on an interesting article today about health care and a man's quest to decipher his daughter's $29,000 appendectomy bill.  Her surgery went beautifully and their insurance company covered the great majority of cost.  But still, he wanted to know exactly what went into a $29,000 bill and how it relates to our nation's growing health care conundrum.

There was a time, long ago, when a surgeon like Peter Mattei would have operated on Sarah, then sent me a bill for what his services cost. I would have sent back a check, or worked out a way to pay what I could over time. It was a previous generation’s way of resolving the contradiction between what is, on the one hand, a business and, on the other, a basic human need. People seem capable of doing that; complex bureaucracies, not so much.

... the fundamental flaw of our health-care system: the fact that we treat it as a capitalistic enterprise at all. Would it have made any difference if I had known the final cost of Sarah’s appendectomy ahead of time? I suspect I speak on behalf of most of the parents who pass through Children's Hospital of Philadelphia’s breathtaking, heartbreaking halls when I say: There is no amount of money I wouldn’t pay to see my kid get better.

If you had told me on the night of Sarah’s surgery that I had to empty out my 401(k) to pay for it, I would have done it. Sell my house? Yup. Borrow thousands from friends and family? In a heartbeat. Buy a gun and knock over a liquor store? If that’s what it took. Some things are more powerful than business, more powerful than money, more powerful, frankly, than right and wrong. And that may be precisely what makes our health-care crisis insolvable: We are trying to put a price on something that is, by its nature, priceless.

If you've ever dealt with your insurance company for something other than a routine topic, you know how maddening it can be when those envelopes full of numbers and policies and codes begin to show up.

It's a good read - check it out.

Are you in the market for a 22-cubic-foot freezer?

Surely you've seen the headlines talking about how the decline of the dollar is making things more expensive, including food.  The way that they talk about it on TV, it sounds like we'll be paying $15 for a pack of chicken breasts or $10 for a gallon of milk any day now.  So, watch out! 

(It's almost as if they are trying to deliberately induce panic and massive buying just so they can report on that next week.)

Costco is limiting how much rice you can buy (I'd like to know who really eats so much rice, so frequently, that they buy it in multiple 20 lb bags??).  Just today in The Wall Street Journal there was an article about how Americans are stockpiling food 1970's style more than ever.  In fact, they even highlighted a man who has started a meat co-op in his neighborhood.

The San Antonio project manager is currently stocking up on inexpensive beef, anticipating meat prices will follow dairy, egg and grain prices higher. "It's a hedging strategy," says Mr. Powell, a 48-year-old father of three. He recently installed a 22-cubic-foot freezer in his garage to go along with the shelves he built for deeply discounted food staples. Neighbors who once dismissed his frugal ways as overkill are now joining him to make bulk purchases of meat.

(How does that work?  Does he go door-to-door asking neighbors if they want to buy meat with him?  I'm not sure that would fly on my block.)

Now, I consider myself to be a very price sensitive person.  I shop at Wal*Mart and I really, really, really hate Wal*Mart but it's just too cheap to not shop there.  I admit that when I saw the headlines about food prices going up I thought that I should stock up on some things as well - I certainly don't want to be paying $6 a box for Frosted Mini Wheats this summer!

Upon closer examination we're not talking about a whole lot of money here.  They predict that meat is going to go up 1.5 to 2.5%.  So, my package of ground turkey that costs about $3.30 will be 8 cents more expensive by the end of the year.

8 cents isn't going to break me.  In fact, it would actually cost me far more than that to keep the stuff frozen over the next 6 months.

And the rest of these items?  We don't eat a whole lot of eggs.  Maybe 6 eggs a month (and those are for important things like cookies and brownies).  I hardly ever buy seafood.  We use about a half gallon of milk every week and a half - which isn't a lot. 

I'm a bit concerned about paying almost 10% more for fruits and vegetables, but those aren't the sort of thing you can exactly buy in bulk and keep for later anyway.

I suppose I could freeze fresh vegetables, but my freezer isn't really that big in the first place.  And, I've been trying to buy more at the Farmer's Market - where things aren't super cheap anyway but I'm willing to make that trade for something locally grown.

Fats and oils are going up about 10%.  But, that's crap you shouldn't be eating anyway so maybe this will make America healthier.  (A girl can dream.)

I thought I might stock up on dry goods if I found a good deal.  But where do you put all of that stuff once you buy it and save your ten dimes?  I don't have a lot of storage space in my house - I'm constantly trying to figure out more clever ways to stash and organize things.  There is simply not room for 10 boxes of cereal or 12 jars of tomato sauce.

I'm not happy about paying more at Wal*Mart.  But I have to EAT. 

What do you think?   Are you concerned about food prices on the rise?  Are you planning to stock up?  Am I being to quick to dismiss this?

Or, are you a bit more like me and feel that this is just another sensational story making the rounds that's designed to scare us all into thinking the economy, our bank accounts and our lives are really worse than they actually are?

Who knew about this and didn't tell me?!

Have you heard of this?  The Red Box? 

WHY AM I JUST NOW DISCOVERING THIS??? 

In case I'm introducing YOU to The Red Box, let me explain.  It's a self-serve kiosk that dispenses newly released DVDs for $1 a night.

Yes!  For real!

No teenagers to deal with at Blockbuster!  No ridiculous $6 movie rental!  No appalling late fees!  No stupid membership card to carry around!

And the best part is that these gorgeous red boxes are frickin' EVERYWHERE.  For parents this must be the best parenting crutch since Pepperidge Farm Goldfish.  Get a movie in Midland, watch it on the way to Austin and return it there same day.  For a buck.

What a deal!!

Now, I know what you're thinking.  I already pay for Netflix.  Why bother doing this?  Such a waste of money - tsk, tsk, tsk.

Well, sometimes I don't have a new Netflix when I want to watch a movie or I have a Netflix but really I want to watch 27 Dresses instead and about 5 times a year I cave to the abhorrent experience of my neighborhood Blockbuster.  (Don't make that face at me.  You know you do it too.)

I pay $6 to rent a movie (which is what it costs to actually see one in the theatre - totally ridiculous) and then I spend the next two days flipping out about how am I going to manage to return the damn thing because it has to go to that specific Blockbuster and I am never in that neighborhood and how am I going to make time for that and I should have never rented this stupid movie in the first place. 

But The Red Box solves all of those problems!  I can return it to any Red Box!  Any time!  An extra day just costs another dollar.  And I don't have to deal with anyone being paid minimum wage who hates their job.  Fabulous.

We got two movies from The Red Box this weekend.  One on Friday and then another on Saturday.   2 dollars for two nights of entertainment.  I can't buy ice cream that cheap.

********************

Strictly as a Public Service Announcement I wish to let everyone know that the Will Smith movie, I Am Legend, is actually a very scary movie.  I thought it was a sort-of scary movie but more of a thinking/suspense movie - like The Sixth Sense.  I liked that movie a lot, so I was easily talked into this one by the Husband.

Uh, no.  Its a flat out scary movie with things popping out and making noise and eating people.  Literally EATING PEOPLE ALIVE.  In the interest of preventing someone else who doesn't like scary movies I just wanted to let you know so you can learn from my experience. 

There were a lot of moments where I held my blanket up to my face and told Chris, "Tell me when the scary part if over," or, "Oh no!  Something's going to eat him!  I can't watch.  Tell me when it's over!"

I'm such a baby.

The upside?  I only paid a buck.  If I had paid $6 for a trick-scary movie I would have been pissed.

I am such an ass about that snarky "kindness of strangers" title

My friend Becky told me a few weeks ago that I'll never look at the world the same way again.  That being a parent - even an "almost parent" - clouds your vision and you always see things with a new perspective.  She also told me that whenever anything bad happens to a child - no matter whose child it is, even a complete stranger's on the news - would hit me in the heart solid every time.

I didn't believe her.  I'm not an unfeeling person - when bad things happen to kids it makes me sad, outraged and teary too.  How could I feel any more pain for the wrong things that befall children than I already do? 

Well, it would appear Becky was absolutely right.  Tonight on one of my favorite blogs I read about Brian and Katie and their 16-month old daughter Emily in Washington DC.  Emily had a brain tumor the size of a baseball.  A portion of it has been removed and she miraculously survived the surgery but the outlook for this girl is not great.  The cancer has spread to her spine - there is a lot of treatment in her future and a lot of uncertainty.  She's not even two years old.

I burst into tears.  I don't know these people, don't know the blogger who wrote about them.  But the gross unfairness of it hit me in the heart. 

That lovely girl.  Those caring parents.  The enormous heartache.  The scope of what they are facing is beyond comprehension.  I can't even start to think about it without clutching my stomach in fear and wanting to run every prenatal test that I can talk my OB into.

I'm not a person who gives money to others spontaneously.  I didn't give any money for 9/11, Katrina of the tsunamis.  I don't drop my change in the Salvation Army bucket at Target.  I write checks to my favorite charities every year in a very official fashion and leave it at that.

But today I did the first of many things I'm sure to do differently as an "almost parent."  I clicked the "Donate" button and sent them what I am sure is a paltry sum compared to the enormous medical bills that must be on the horizon. 

If you'd like to read more about Emily, or send them some kind words (perhaps more, like me), please visit not that you asked...