With just 72 hours until I wedge my ass into the seat of a 737 bound for Mexico, oddly enough, I am in total denial about it.
This is an accidental vacation. We booked it just to book SOMETHING, so we'd stop feeling sorry for ourselves about not taking time just for us. We booked it to Cancun because it was close and because we got a killer deal on the hotel. We weren't that excited about the destination except for the fact that it's on a beach.
If I'm being really honest? I like experiencing new places and cultures but my most favorite vacation is in Hawaii because it has gorgeous beaches, great weather and it's in America.
I love vacationing in America and spending my American dollars and gallivanting around with the knowledge that I am laying on the beach with my Constitutional Rights intact and if anyone jacks with me then I'll sue 'em, because I LOVE AMERICA and that's what we can do when we get jacked with.
WOOT FOR AMERICA!
(I'm arrogant like this.)
Mexico bewilders me because of the widespread graft, drug dealers, homicide and utterly horrific poverty that the government doesn't seem to really care about. It seems to be so...lawless and wild and crazy. Whether I'm correct in feeling this way or not, I'm not really loving a gut reaction of "uh-oh" when I step off the plane.
In Mexico (and I have been recently to Mexico City, Acapulco and Veracruz, I'm not just basing this on headlines) I always feel like I'm about to be the victim of a crime worthy of a Harrison Ford movie where Special Forces are going to have to rescue me. I don't like that feeling so much.
Also?
Chris took French in high school and I think my 11th grade Spanish teacher pity-passed me that last semester because after three years in his classroom, Senor Fleming figured out that I was never going pick up much of anything beyond basic vocabulary. Being somewhere that I'm not fluent makes me feel like I'm already in a compromised position.
All this to say that we're flying a few thousand mile south with the intention of spending 4 days within the confines of the hotel. No Mayan pyramids for us! We're staying in the infinity pool with a swim up bar and eating nachos all week. This is SO unlike me; normally I'd like to venture out to explore and soak up some local flavor. Make the most of being there. Be the sort of traveler that gets her hands dirty.
But in Mexico? I think not. Seems safer to stay on a lounge chair with a margarita. Several margaritas.
***
My parents are fetching Claire on Wednesday morning. It was supposed to be Wednesday night. When I found out that I'd have to say goodbye 8 hours sooner I kind of freaked out and then I realized that Chris and I could go to the movies on Wednesday evening and that might be positively THRILLING to go to the movies.
This is indicative of how I feel about the whole trip. I get sad and mopey about leaving Claire and then I remember that leaving Claire means FREEDOM SWEET FREEDOM. I get excited and consider packing high heels since I won't be toting around a 20 lb free weight on my arm that throws off my balance.
(I mean SERIOUSLY. My 20's were full of awesome shoe purchases that have been languishing in my closet. It PAINS me to look at them now and know that I can't bear to even wear them out to the freaking car.)
We're leaving in two days and I've got lists to make and things to pack. (I haven't even practice packed yet, which is highly, highly unusual for me.) And what am I doing right now? Watching Season 4 of Weeds and drinking a Dos Equis while my daughter slumbers peacefully.
Ah, the good life. It would appear I've got it this week.