3 down. 1 to go. Business Travel Month continues with a jaunt to Orlando and the theme parks.
Flights to Orlando are always different because of the enormous volume of children, strollers, frazzled parents, people that haven't flown much and are slow to board (annoying!) and also because of all the fanny packs.
Yes, people. I said FANNY PACK.
What is wrong with a purse? A backpack? A tote? A simple pocket? They're all fine ways to transport items and keep them close at hand.
And yet, there must be millions of Americans out there, hoarding their fanny packs from 1989 (it will be a shock to many of you to realize that was 18 whole years ago), just waiting and anticipating the joyous moment that they can pull them from hiding and crow to naysayers like Stacy and Clinton, who have encouraged them to purge their fanny packs over the years:
"I KNEW there was a reason I kept this! It will be perfect for walking around a theme park so I can put two hands on my 800 calorie Coke and funnel cake! See? You think I'm a pack rat but I'm not. This stuff is USEFUL. Just wait. And tomorrow, someone will want to see all those magazines I've been keeping from when Brad and Jen got divorced. Those are historic."
How do I know that fanny packs across the country are being stashed away like a squirrel hoards nuts for the winter? Because you can't buy them anywhere respectable anymore.
Target is not stocking them for a very good reason.
Sure, the internet will sell you one but let's be serious, what will the internet NOT sell you these days? Just because you can buy it online does not mean that you should.
Other than the Fanny Pack Blight sweeping Orlando there's not all that much else to report. Children still get cranky in the afternoon, people leave their manners at home, fat ladies fail to wear enough clothes, strollers with toddlers who are not old enough to remember their visit are numerous.
Of additional concern is the tween who wears a bikini to the park as an outfit. I saw many 11 - 14 year-olds sporting teeny bikinis with flip flops, as if to say:
"Hey! Don't I look cute in my "outfit" that will allow me to go on the River Raft ride without getting my pants wet? Because I'm not wearing any! Get it? My mom totally okay'ed this outfit because she is here with me in cutoffs and a triangle top too! Rockin'!!"
Good job Mom. Show her that pole dancing move you know too and she will absolutely succeed in life.