are things complicated yet?

About the frozen chocolate cake from Costco

Well. Well, well, WELL.

I see that I am not the only person who enjoys a quality slice of chocolate cake. I had no idea that frozen cake would get so many of your eyebrows raised in a collective, "REALLY? YOU CAN DO THAT?"

Here is the whole story:

I've heard of people freezing cake rounds, in preparation for assembling a cake later, but I'd never heard of someone freezing the entire cake once it was all ready. But, you can! One can freeze cake after it has already been iced and assembled and it also actually tastes good once thawed. WHO KNEW?! I have to tell you it was not wholly my idea. My mother-in-law takes the credit on this one.

She showed up in June with a cake that she had frozen sometime in early May. It was billed as a Tiramisu Cake but it was really some sort of white chocolate raspberry cake (no idea how they got tiramisu out of that). She had frozen the entire cake, in the box, no plastic wrap or anything. She then stuck the cake in the car in June, drive it 5 hours to my house while it defrosted and we all had some "Tiramisu" cake for Father's Day.

I will be brutally honest. When I heard what she had done to that cake, the only thing I could think was,

"This is going to be terrrrrible."

I actually did not even have a slice with everyone because I was trying to watch how much sugar I was cramming in my maw (one month after giving birth). It was also not chocolate. My steadfast dessert motto is, "If it's not chocolate, I don't want it." Plus, there was also the part about how she'd frozen it and I thought it was going to be awful anyway. Totally not worth the calories. I was feeling very smug about not partaking in this dense, high-calorie cake that was probably not even very good anyway. (Also? NOT CHOCOLATE.)

Somehow, the cake got left in my fridge and later that night I had an attack of The Sugars and I helped myself to a slice (as you do one month post-partum), fully expecting to dislike it and throw it out.

Except, the cake was good. It was really good. It was not even chocolate and it was good.

Hmmmm. This set my mind whirring.

There is a cake at Costco I like to flirt with. I think it is called something like The Great American Chocolate Cake. It is four layers and it is chocolate heaven in a plastic container for $16.99. I like to drive by the cake and think about putting it in my cart, next to the baby. The problem is that it's enormous, there's no way we could eat it all and, perhaps more importantly, we do not have any business eating that much cake before it spoils. 

But, what if I froze the cake? That might solve my problem. (My completely invented, not even really an actual problem, problem.) I bought the damn cake, sliced it up and you know what happens next. IT WAS AWESOME. 

Go forth. Buy cake. Freeze it. Enjoy.

2010

1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?

I bought a house! With my own money and everything! When the property tax bill comes? MY NAME IS ALSO ON IT.  Kind of a big deal: picking out and owning a house and paying for it with your own money. It's like I'm a real grown up.

(Chris bought our prior house several years before I even knew him. So, this is the first house that I got to pick out and pay for.)

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn't make any formal resolutions for 2010 but I knew that I wanted to sell my house fast (we kind of did) and then after the moving crazy wore off I wanted more time for myself and I think I did fairly okay at that. Sometimes I had to really force myself to spend time doing things that only I wanted to do, but I'm glad I did.

I haven't thought about what I want to do in 2011 yet, unlike SOME ambitious people.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes! So many babies were born this year.

My friend Lorraine had a baby boy named William, Julie had a little Addison, Elizabeth had a Katherine, Kim had a Henry, Whitney had a Roman and Manda had an Elijah. Katie had Emma, Shelby had Juliet, Meghan had Amelia, Mindy had Parker, Holly had Clara, Vanessa had Darby and Sarah had twins named Alex and Jacob.

PHEW. Even though that's a lot of babies (and I'm sure I forgot a few), I bet 2011 is an even bigger list.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Thankfully, no.

5. What countries did you visit?

None. Am boring, elitist American. Stayed in-country and spent my money here. I cannot be bothered to cross the border and kerfuffle with exchanging dollars for local currency.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you didn't have in 2010?

A well-decorated home. Smaller pants. Better menu-planning skills. Fewer toys scattered about the house.

7. What dates from 2010 will be etched upon your memory, and why?

The day we found out that we're going to have another baby and that it's a girl. Those were pretty big days.

8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?

I would say that getting pregnant and creating the awesome miracle of LIFE, but that makes me sound hoity-toity so I'll say it was the day we finally decided what colors to paint the walls. BIG DEAL, that one was.

About 6 months later I'm still really pleased with our choices, which is nothing short of miraculous.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I keep coming back to this question and feeling blank, so maybe I didn't have a giant failure this year? I'm sure that's not true though.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I burned the inside of my arm with a hot cookie sheet. I had strep.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

This house. A loveseat to match our sofa. Boots. A giant tub of Cetaphil moisturizer (that sucker is going to last me forever). Fabric for my living room windows so I could make curtains and trash the ugly blinds.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

I secretly love it when Rick Perry makes the rounds on cable and starts talking about secession, even though he's kind of a weirdo with over-coiffed hair.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Any one of the hundreds of people that leave their infants and toddlers strapped in hot cars or in garages every year. I honestly can't bear to read or even hear a whisper of those stories because they make me so furious and upset.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Taxes, of course.

Isn't that where most of EVERYONE'S money goes? (Except for the people who don't pay them, which I think is wrong. Every person should be a taxpayer no matter their income level.)

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Our trip to Maui last October.

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?

I am not a music-y person in the sense that I seek out new artists or albums. I tend to listen to the same thing over and over again which results in nothing actually standing out for 2010. 

I also listen to a lot of talk radio.  Because, you know, I am old.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

Happier: It's trite, but with kids in your life things just seem to get better all the time.

Fatter: Hallo, I am with child.

Richer: Without getting too much into the particulars, we're having a great year.  The market not sucking has also been helpful lately.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

I wish I'd seen some of my friends more but it's hard for me to feel TOO bad about that since it's a two way street and I seem to be the only one driving on it most of the time. I guess I've seen the people that wanted to see me and I made an effort to see the ones that I wanted to see.

Growing older and apart, outgrowing friendships, blah blah blah...I have a totally different group of friends than I did ten years ago and I think it's time for me to move on and drop it like everyone else seems to have already done.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Washing clothes and then letting them sit in the laundry basket or in a heap on the floor for three weeks.

Opening a yogurt at someone's specific request, only to see her refuse to take a single bite.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

At home and totally stressed out and exhausted from being a control freak because there were people in my house trying to help me cook and clean (GASP! CAN YOU IMAGINE?) and I was like STOP HELPING ME ALREADY because if there's one thing a control freak can't handle it's someone else doing things for her that are out of her immediate control and supervision.

Do they make pills for control freaks?  No, seriously, do they?  Pills that solve the controlling tendencies but don't make you high and spacey?  I would like to NOT be the kind of person who has a very nice husband and brother that volunteer to clean up a shattered pyrex that was in a million shards and slivers on Christmas Day and all I could think was,

"I bet they didn't get all the glass, I should get my 5-months-pregnant self on my hands and knees and inspect the floor, and maybe mop, before I continue with any dinner preparations and really I should never have let them clean it up in the first place because I can't supervise the cleaning if I don't do it myself."

GAHHHHH. (They got all the glass. I did not get on my hands and knees. I thanked them.)

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?

If a person can fall in love with Mint Milano cookies, then yes.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

This is SO NERDY but my favorite show that I tape every day is NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams.

What? Brian Williams is one good-looking guy. He is particularly handsome in HD. It's not unusual for this to be the only half hour of television I watch in any given day.

(When he is on TV Claire will sometimes say, "Look Mommy! Bwyan on teevee!" What can I say? He's a fixture in our lives.)

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

I'll tell you who I don't like very much: the neighbor kid who plays basketball in his driveway at 10pm. THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

24. What was the best book you read?

This list is just getting more and more mortifying, but I read all of the Sookie Stackhouse books and they were totally awesome.  I even considered adding the boxed set to my Christmas list so I could have them to read over and over again because one round of trashy vampire lit isn't enough for me.

Attention New York Times! Hire me to write the book review column! I am attracted only to highbrow literature!

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Does anything Elmo sings count?

26. What did you want and get?

A new house. An iPhone 4 (which, MEH). A new fridge and dishwasher. A toaster oven. A coffee pot. A new TV for the upstairs.

I'm a domestic dork, aren't I?

27. What did you want and not get?

A good haircut.  Seriously, I had all that lovely long hair and I tried to get it cut into something cute and it was a complete disaster. Haven't been to get my hair cut since then and only recently have my bangs grown out to an acceptable length.

A new washer and dryer.

28. What was your favorite film of 2010?

I really did like Inception.  It was mind-twisty enough for me to be entertained and not at all scary. (I haaaate scary movies.)

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 31 in 2010 and I spent my birthday flying home from a ski trip in Breckenridge.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

A giant pile of tax-free cash. Isn't that everyone's answer to this question? I know money doesn't buy happiness but dude, it sure does fix a lot of immediate problems.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2009?

"Does this fit? Does it not ever need to be ironed? Does it make me look halfway decent? Can I wear it to work AND on the weekends? Is it comfortable like pajamas? Is it on sale?  Hmmm, okay, I'll buy it."

32. What kept you sane?

The internet. You. I don't know how people parented before the internet. Really, I have no idea.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

To be very honest I tried to keep my head out of this kind of thing in 2010. After the election in 2008 and then the ensuing Congressional Crapfest in 2009 I was getting so wrapped up in every little thing they did wrong (which was a LOT of things) and it was making me SO ANGRY. 

I follow my Congressman on Twitter and I get his emails and I want to go to a town hall meeting this year that he hosts. I keep up with my Senators, but truthfully my Congressman kicks way bigger ass than they do. I make sure I know what things will impact me but I try not to get too involved in the rest of it because it seriously just elevates my blood pressure and yes I know that we all get a vote and a voice and you can make a difference but right now, for me, the trade in stress isn't worth the ding of "difference" I might make.

I have been choosing to spend more time on People.com and busy myself with what Sandra Bullock is up to rather than Nancy Pelosi.

34. Who did you miss?

I still miss Tim Russert. Sunday mornings just aren't the same.

35. Who was the best new person you met?

My midwife.

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

It's a lesson that I seem to keep attempting to learn, but I should stop sweating the small stuff. (In other words, stop being a control freak.) Claire will not be little forever, this might be the last time that I'm pregnant, I only get one chance at this moment and fretting about my Worry Of The Day is stupid. STUPID.

37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

The road goes on forever and the party never ends.

Fridays are for pre-Thanksgiving Greater Thans

Lindt dark chocolate truffles > Whatever remnant Halloween candy I am still finding tucked in odd places

Potty training > Um, something, right?

A good vacuum > Any broom

Squeeze yogurt > Yogurt in a cup, ohmygod DO NOT give me that yogurt in a cup (per Claire)

The holiday Crate and Barrel catalogue > The holiday Pottery Barn catalogue

Winter pajamas > Summer pajamas

A pretty fire > Cranking up the heat

Hand-made gifts > Last minute retail rushes

Amazon Prime free 2-day shipping > Almost anything else on the entire internet

Your Old Navy > My Old Navy (Gah, I have THE WORST one in America)

A two-year-old that still demands a binky > Well. I don't really know. It's annoying, that's for sure.

Flat irons with automatic, timed shut off > Flat irons without that make you worry all damn day long that you burned the house down. (They get SO FRAKKING HOT)

A mocha in your hand > A mocha you put on the roof of the car that then falls and spills all over your pants and shoes right before work.

The part at the end of Valentine's Day where Julia Roberts makes the quip about how she once went shopping in Beverly Hills but it was a big mistake. Big! Huge! > Any other movie ending I've seen in a loooong time.

Packing > Unpacking

Grandparents that babysit > Gold

Staying home, driving or teleporting > A TSA groping

You guys are so awesome, I don't even want to remember a time before the internet

Oh, you guys.  You guys.  YOU ARE MY PEOPLE.

I am beyond validated that you also think my neighbors have asked for something way out of line.  Yesssssssss!  (I particularly liked how Arwen called them "Money-Grubbing-Fence-Neighbors" or MGFN for short.)

We already decided to just ignore the letter, but now we feel really solid about that decision.  If she ever comes back to the house I swear I am going to tell her, "Look, I asked the internet and then internet thinks you're crazy and rude so please go away."  I swear I will actually say this to her.

The ideas about sending them a note or knocking on their door would be satisfying but I don't want to continue the conversation.  I could use that valuable time to cut my toenails or something.  I think our silence will speak pretty loudly.

Anyhoodle, thank you for your thoughts.  I knew that you'd have choice things to say.  

***

A week or two ago I got a Facebook message from a high school friend, that I haven't talked too since the advent of Facebook, asking for some middle-of-the-night, mom-to-mom advice.  She described a few things and I immediately felt like I probably knew what the deal was. 

The only reason I had a sort-of clue is because I knew several other moms online who had infants with the same hell-beastie symptoms, and it had taken them ages to figure it out, and when they did life got so much BETTER and HAPPIER.  Every post I'd read on the topic had a definite ring of OH MY HELL, IF I HAD ONLY KNOWN HOW SIMPLE THIS WAS.  I knew that what she was going through was the worst, the absolute worst way to experience a newborn and that life was really frustrating for her right then.

I wrote to another friend who had this same brand of baby I suspected my friend had and she said, "Dude, YES. That sounds exactly like it."  She then wrote something like 1,000 words on how to go about solving it and investigating it further and questions to ask the pediatrician.  Really, it was impressive how much information she so generously typed up right there on the spot for this girl she'd never heard of before now.

It turns out that she was right, and about a week later everyone at that house is happier and sleeping better - 5 hours at a time actually.  I can't even tell you how AWESOME it was to see Two Internet Moms In Action, solving problems and informing the sleep-deprived with our collective experience.  Arwen and I were having major sympathy stress pains over my high school friend because we knew how craptacular and defeating this brand of baby can be.  We were SO HAPPY we were able to put her on the right track.

(Refluxy baby.  Zantac.  Everyone's happy now.)

I think about this probably too much, and indulge me while I turn on the sappiness, but I couldn't help but consider how many other new moms must be out there, without their internet friends to help them out and learn from the millions of shared experiences floating around out there. In fact, I'm pretty sure some of my real-life mom friends have zero internet friends and I just think,

Oh, no!  How will she survive?  Will she make it? Does she know about  Ask Moxie and her thoughts about sleeping?  Ack!  What if she doesn't know?  WHAT IF SHE DOESN'T KNOW?

Really, I think this. I worry about them; these friends, without friends inside the computer.  (It's a thoroughly modern worry.)

The camaraderie, advice and open line for complaining and commiseration as well as sharing in my small successes every day (like, if I only got spit-up on once, that was a GOOD day that I wanted congratulations on) were something that I found so valuable those first few months, and that I'm still finding valuable today.  I can't IMAGINE figuring this all out on our own.  Point being, you take your support where you can get it and mine happens to come from inside this MacBook, more often than not.  I met my husband online and I make friends online.  It's just who I am.

So, thanks internet friends.  From fences to babies - you've got it all covered.

I taped diapers to my dining room table and then wrote about it. I need a hobby.

You've noticed all the cutting back at the grocery store right?  No, I don't mean YOU cutting back.  I mean the suits who make the things we buy.  There's a conference room somewhere in America where they are rubbing their hands together with glee and saying something like,

"Oh, Suzie Housewife will NEVER NOTICE if we make the box 3 ounces smaller and keep the price the same!  If we do this we'll make enough to hand out bonuses this year!  I know you were thinking about putting in a pool Clark."

Yes, it's the oldest retailing trick in the book: things keep getting ever so teeny-tinier so you don't really notice when you're at the store, but they stay the same price.  It's a price increase on the sly and it's so annoying!  

A few weeks ago I was changing Claire and I opened a new box of diapers.  I noticed that they felt a little...different.  But since I had a squalling child writhing around, in imminent danger of Toes In Poop, I didn't really pay much more attention.  I changed her and sent her off running towards her next adventure.

The next time I changed her I noticed the diapers were weird again.  I checked the remainder and they were ALL thinner, papery-er and not a soft as I'd remembered.  Because I am stupid I thought I had a bad box.  Like, "Oh no!  There's been a mistake at the factory!"

I continued to think that as I used up the box.  Bad box, factory error, whatever.  But the next box was all screwed up too.  And the next one!  I was flummoxed.  My mind set to wandering.

How did I get so many bad boxes of Pampers Cruisers Size 4?  I mean, I've been buying Pampers since day one and I've never had a bad box before.  Maybe my Wal-Mart got ALL of the bad boxes from that day?  That would be so weird.  I should Google that and see if they'd had a factory mistake in the south or...WHOA, WHOA, WAIT A MINUTE.  I'VE BEEN HORNSWAGGLED.

I walked directly to a diaper bag I hardly ever use and plucked a diaper out of it.  A diaper that had been purchased weeks ago.  And dudes, it was completely different.

EXHIBIT A

New diaper on the left, old on the right.  They look the same right?  That is, to the uneducated eye.

EXHIBIT B

Let's open these dipes up.  The new one looks similar to the old one, on the right.  But they're not the same!  NO! NOOOOOOOOO!

Look at Old Diaper - see how the absorbent strip ceases about 2/3 of the way up?  Where all those convenient, angry red circles are?  Yes, that's where the absorbent part ceases and the thin, ridiculous layer of mere PAPER begins.  I know these are, at their core, paper products, but I didn't really mean to purchase JUST paper.  Paper will not do the job!

Proctor and Gamble: I AM NOT PAYING FOR PLAIN OLD PAPER, OKAY?

EXHIBIT C, THE OLD, AWESOME DIAPER, IN MACRO LENS DETAIL

Look at how pillowy it is.  It's so soft and fluffy.  And...quilted!  I don't know what that does but the toilet paper people seem to talk about it a lot so it must desirable.

EXHIBIT D THE NEW, CRAPPY DIAPER (HA, I MADE A FUNNY!) IN MACRO LENS DETAIL 

Look at this!  You can SEE THROUGH THE DAMN THING in the back.  Hi Grover!  It looks like printer paper in there.  There is a total lack of soft fluffiness, plus the part about the whole section of diaper functioning material that is AWOL.

This is a KEY DIAPER FUNCTIONING AREA, if you know what I'm saying.  It is ALARMING to look at this photo and think of the near-disasters.

EXHIBIT E (WHERE I START USING MATH AND GET SOME SERIOUS EVIDENCE TOGETHER)

So, at this point I did what any normal, sane, pissed-off Mom would do.  I opened the diapers, got out some packing tape and taped them to my dining room table so I could measure them side-by-side.  And, LO.  There is a stunning SIX INCHES of absorbent material missing from the new version.  (I rounded up.)

I was very scientific when measuring, as you can see below.

Obviously, Proctor and Gamble have switched up how they make Pampers Cruisers, and it looks pretty clear that it's a cheaper way to make them at the consumer's expense.  I'm still paying about $20 for a box of the stupid things so I am definitely feeling tricked, cheated, duped, etc. 

While we have not had any incidents with the new dipes I'm definitely annoyed.  It's just so devious of them.  Now would certainly be a good time to switch to cloth, and yet...Oh Lord that sounds like a lot of work and toting around of dirty diapers every day.

Has anyone else noticed products getting smaller/lower quality on the sneak?  I'd be interested to see what I haven't noticed.

Updated 10/20

I've decided that we're going to switch to Costco Diapers.  I also messaged Pampers on Twitter with a link to this post and (OF COURSE) they have said nothing.  They don't care.  I mean, I already bought a freaking YEARS worth of dipes from them already.  So, so, so annoying.

Welcome to Procrastination Station, where everything sucks and it's easy to feel bad about yourself!

1.  Right now, I am stressing out about a rental car.  A stupid rental car.  See, I am flying in on Wednesday to Sacramento and I need to figure out how to get myself to St. Helena that afternoon.  That's it!  A measly 47 miles!  It's proving much more difficult than I thought, especially since I waited until the last minute.

Nobody wants to rent me a car one-way and all of the car service companies I can find won't go to Napa.  So then I'm left with renting a car that I don't need for the whole weekend at a cost of about $250.  I mean, I would definitely USE the car but it's just that it's superfluous and annoying.  I even looked at taking the bus, but Greyhound doesn't go to Napa either.

So, I don't know what I'm going to do but it's pissing me off since I waited so long to deal with it.  I will probably rent the stupid car for the week and then make everyone ride with me because HI! I HAVE A CAR!  And then I will return it with a lot of trash in it, because I'm MAD.  Maybe I should just rent a bicycle.  You know, if they'll let me.

2.  I'm not ready to leave on my trip yet.  Wait, did you know I'm going on a trip.  YES!  A TRIP!  I have been meaning to post the cute little sunshine badge over on the right for months and months but people, I am lucky to get clean underwear on every day and posting that badge was at the bottom of my list.

Anyway, going to Sacramento and Napa and San Francisco!  Hanging out with my awesome college friend Natalie and my Bloggy Friends!  Going to posh wine parties and hanging out with the ladies!  WOOOO!  Very excited!

3.  So, back to my pre-trip freak out.  I'm running out of time to prepare.  This trip has completely snuck up on me.  There is a mountain of laundry.  And I wanted to buy sassy new jeans.  And I have to buy my cutesy little presents for everyone so they will think I'm gracious.  I have not wardrobe planned.  (What does one wear to a posh wine party, anyway?  Probably something I don't own.)  I haven't decided if I will check my bag or carry on.  I am out of Key Makeup Items and I don't have time to order them online and I definitely don't want to go to the mall tomorrow.  I will probably wake up tomorrow with ten giant zits.  SUCH IS MY LUCK.

4.  Claire is sick.  Chris is sick.  And I'm leaving on Wednesday for the weekend.  I know that he will be able to handle whatever happens but I feel badly leaving my husband to fend for himself with a sick kid.  It seems...cruel.

5.  There is a football game in two weeks that I am supposed to find a baby sitter for and, um, I have not done that yet.  It's the A&M vs Arkansas game at Jerry World and it's kind of a big deal in the sense that the tickets cost too much to bail on and I'm interested to check out the stadium.  Claire obvs will not be attending, but everyone else in my family wants to (which strikes a lot of my potential sitters) and I need to locate a sitter who is not my mother.  I will be calling Candice in the morning and praying she is available, but this is just one of the many, many, many things I have procrastinated on this month.

6.  My daughter is turning one year old in 2 weeks and I have done exactly NOTHING to plan her a birthday party.  I want to have a really big, fun party but I have yet to realize that yo, A'Dell, that shit don't plan itself.  So, um, 2 weeks.  Yeah.  I'm still not sure what I'm going to do about that. It's hard not to feel totally crappy about this one. I also need to schedule her one-year portraits and I haven't made that phone call either, even though I know my baby photog is mega popular and fills her schedule fast.  Lordy, I suck.  I missed the 9-month photos, please don't let me miss the one-year.

7.  For everyone who has asked me what Claire wants for her birthday, the answer is, "Anything a person who is 1-year-old would enjoy."  She has no further comments and I have no further time to research it.

8. I have not sent my family monthly pictures since, um, April?  And I have completely lost all of my photos from last November.  Don't even get me started on the video files.  Dude, I never thought technology would make me feel bad about myself, but that video camera does.  Every time I look at it I think of all the files inside of it that need editing and then I feel overwhelmed and I leave the room so I don't have to look at it any more.

9.  Let's turn this around though.  If you go sign up for my awesome friend Natalie's newsletter about WINE from her AWESOME WINERY, Astrale e Terra, you will be entered to win a freaking MAGNUM OF WINE.  That is a giant bottle of yummy, delicious, bad-mood-busting booze!  Natalie was nice enough to send wine to our bloggy party and, well, I love her even more for that.

Sign up!  Natalie is a clever writer and you'll like her updates.

(Plus, I don't think hundreds and hundreds of people have signed up so, you know, your chances are probably pretty good.  WORTH THE CLICK.)

It's 4 am. UGH

Just when I was starting to enjoy sleeping all night long, Claire has hit her week 37 developmental Wonder Week.  Her brain is busy making new connections and figuring out the Wonderful World of Categories so she can't be bothered to sleep in more than 5-hour increments.

This means a lot of 3 am wake up calls.  3 am is really the very WORST time for that sort of thing.  It's late enough to break me out of a deep, calming sleep but early enough so that after 30 or 40 minutes of soothing her it's just a wee bit too late to be worth going back to bed at 4-ish.

Reveille is normally 5 am around here.  (The trade for such an obnoxious start to the day is that Chris and I are usually both home by 3.)  Is it really worth going back to bed for only an hour?  Or should I do one of those things I'm always saying I don't have time for?  Like breakfast, exercising, folding laundry, cleaning the kitchen or maybe even something totally luxurious like shaving my legs.  Since it's JUNE and all.

I can sleep when I'm dead.  Right?

****

I just finished my first latte of the day.  I am definitely making another one.  My current favorite concoction is:  espresso, steamed fat free milk, one pump coconut syrup, one pump macadamia nut syrup, one teeny scoop of chocolate powder.

It's a replication of the latte I was drinking in Maui last April that they called a "Nutty Hawaiian."

So.  Freaking.  Good.

Should I get these funky glasses?

I like them a lot.  I'm just not sure if I'm a Funky Glasses Person.  I mean, I don't play guitar, vote Democrat or recycle at home.  I'm not sure I'm even allowed to be trying these on.

Every time I shop for frames I think, "I am totally going to get something fun this time instead of ANOTHER pair of simple wire frames." 

But I've never been able to do it.  I've had the same glasses for 9 years and they're really boring silver-ish frames.  I have worn them in public approximately ten times in 9 years.

I like these...but I just can't seem to commit to them.  I feel like I might wear them more often than my current glasses since they're such a big statement and more stylish.  But I don't know...Thoughts?

I am the very definition of "lazy" today

Today I got up at 930, ate pancakes and went back to bed. I stayed there until nearly 130, getting up only to feed Claire.  I then ate a bowl of turkey chili and camped out in the living room for the rest of the day.  I watched the first three episodes of The Tudors (3 hours) and uploaded more than 100 photos to Kodak Gallery from December, organized them, attempted pithy commentary and shared them with friends and family.

(Side note: HATE HATE HATE the new Slideshow format they have.  Am currently taking recommendations on a new photo-sharing site.)

Right now I'm watching 60 Minutes while the baby naps, with an impressive array of children's toys spread about the house that I've already decided I am definitely not picking up tonight.  I am deciding whether I want to eat a frozen pizza or a Lean Cuisine for dinner. 

Oh wait, no, Chris is making turkey melts.  Score.

You know, Sunday has always been my favorite day of the week.

The Pity Party is officially over. (For now.)

Let's not talk about the struggles and complexities and HIGH HOLY DRAMA of learning how to balance being a new mom and a working mom any more.  I am SO TIRED of thinking about that topic. 

DRAMA every damn day it seems.

Instead, let's do a meme!  A meme is always fun!  Manda would like to see me list seven odd/unique/random things about myself.  And I will indulge her because we are bloggy-type friends and that is the magic of the internet at work. 

***********

SEVEN ODD/RANDOM THINGS

1. I have exactly 4 outfits I can wear to work and they involve rotating two pairs of pants.  I hate all of the outfits immensely and yet I cannot find anything worth even trying on in the stores.  Closet stalemate.  Work Wardrobe fail.  Am frumpy new mom of the highest order.  The worst part?  I sort of don't care because I hate winter clothes anyway and I always feel like they're a waste of money since it's not cold for very long here in Ft. Worth.  I'm holding out for spring clothes before I replenish my wardrobe post-child.  I can make this frumpy cardigan last ALL WINTER.

2. Nursing Bras.  They suck.  Most necessary undergarment EVER and yet?  Hardly any options to choose from.  And they all come in white.  WHITE?!  Who wears only white bras?  I have gone through a lengthy shop and return process with many online vendors and finally I did what I knew I needed to do all along: go to my favorite shop and get fitted by a real human.  Bliss followed.  Am big believer in getting fitted.  A properly fitted bra will change your life if you let it. I beg of you: LET IT.

3. My husband came home one day this week and had watched Oprah at the gym because it was only thing on.  He came home and talked about her topic for the day.  I can't remember what he said because I stopped listening after "So, I was watching Oprah today," because I was laughing hilariously on the inside.  I'm sorry you were forced to watch Oprah Chris.  But don't you see now?  She GETS to people.  Even my husband.  (Me on the other hand?  Oprah kind of annoys me.)

4. Every day when we come home I immediately strip down the baby, wash her hands, give her a bath and put her in new clothes.  I feel that after being at day care she is somewhat contaminated and if I clean her right away I'll minimize the risk of getting her sick.  Big WHATEVER on that one as only 6 days in, she is sick.  She slept  upright in her swing for three nights because she was too congested to lay down.  Pediatrician says it's a plain old winter cold.  So pathetic and sad. 

5.  I am a lot more livid than I let on about TARP and the economy and my taxes and our new president.  A LOT MORE LIVID.  Whereas lots of people were saying "Yes we can," for the past few months I was thinking, "Oh no you didn't" the entire time.  Am still thinking that.  Very interested to see how this all pans out over the next few years.  Am also assuming massive tax hit for 09.  Wheeee.

6. I keep a half gallon of Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla ice cream in the freezer at all times.  It is the perfect accompaniment to a variety of things: pie, brownies, cake, fruit, Grand Marnier.  Particularly Grand Marnier.  YUM

7. I am not a morning person.  I never have been.  But lately I have come to appreciate the early morning for the privacy and time alone with Claire that it gives me.  I have often wondered how you can get more hours from the day and it's pretty simple - you just sleep less.  Most work days I get up at 445 am and this affords me hours of luxurious time to get ready and out the door.  Of course, by 8pm I'm usually beat, but so is Claire and that's fine by me.  My singular priority for the next few months is to simply eke out as much time with her as I can and sacrifice frivolities like vacuuming and laundry if necessary.  So far, it's been tough to turn off the voice in my head that screams, "THE HOUSE IS FILTHY LET'S SPEND ALL DAY CLEANING IT."  (And really, it's not that filthy - it could just use a good dust and vacuum but it still bothers me quite a bit.)  But, I'm trying. 

Oh crap, I DID end up talking about balancing working and mothering, didn't I?  See, it just invades every corner of my life.  I can't help it.  It's who I am now.