The Garden, Weeks 14, 15, 16: The Very Hungry Caterpillar

The tomatoes started to blossom so I fertilized them with some gray stuff in a bag that was stinking up to HIGH HEAVEN and WOW it smelled so badly I can't believe I PAID for the contents of this stinky, stinky, bag.

I have four whole tomatoes growing now, 3 weeks after first blossoms. I have two Yellow Pear and two Amish Paste and, look, this seems rather shrimpy to me. I have lots of blossoms on the other ones, but no tomatoes and some of the blossoms have turned brown and fallen off, which I think is called Blossom Drop. The internet tells me it's from lack of pollination so I suppose I'll go outside and shuffle the plants every now and then. It could also be from sustained temperatures above 85 which HA HA YES that is already happening too.

I have to keep remembering that I started these from seeds AND they are heirlooms so they are just not going to produce as early or often as my friends that bought plants. Elizabeth and I were talking about this one day and we produced a very handy graphic to make ourselves feel better about this situation.

Ahem. Moving right along.

I am not sure what I did to the green onions but they stopped growing and then just kind of....vanished one day. I think they maybe needed more water than I was giving them. This is okay, because the cucumber and okra plants are going crazy and I am going to move half of them to the empty spot where the green onions used to be. 

Observe cucumber and okra huge-ness, only six weeks after I threw seeds in the ground:

It is rather crowded in this six square feet: two tomatoes, two basils, six okras, six cucumbers. So, I don't know, it's been pretty boring in the garden lately. I water, I prune, I weed. It's rained a little bit. I keep an eye on the bunnies.

Yesterday, I noticed part of a tomato plant had some leaves chomped on. I looked closer, getting agitated about something snacking on my garden. I wondered if the bunnies had figured out how to lean their paws on the fence to get a few leaves...but then I moved on to the next plant, which was missing HALF its leaves and whaaaaaaaat?

UM, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

A moment later I caught sight of THIS guy, just hanging out all casual-like on one of my beloved Brandywine plants.

Hey guys! Just having a snack! (urrrp.)

He was GIGANTINORMOUS and he had these awful beady eyes and little T-Rex type paws and a little red pokey thing and he was FAT and LUMPY (with my tomato leaves!) and GROSSSSSSS. Oh, he was horrible looking.

Eagle-eye Jess told me what I had was a tomato hornworm. And ohhhhhhh, doesn't that sound EVIL? It is you guys, it totally is evil. I hope you are not eating right now, because what I am about to tell you might make you lose your appetite. This sucker turns into a moth with a FIVE-TO-SIX-INCH WINGSPAN. A fluttery moth that makes whappity-whappity papery sounds with wings AS BIG AS YOUR HAND which presumably FLIES AROUND and it might TOUCH MEEEEEEEEE OMG.

(GAHHHHHHH HAND FLAPPY OMG OMG OMG)

Obviously I do not want any of these around, either as giant caterpillars eating my tomatoes I have spent sixteen freaking weeks babysitting from seeds, or as giant moths flying around my head (HURL). I will be purchasing some insecticide tomorrow. Organic, schmorganic. I cannot have any of THESE anywhere near me.

Elizabeth, helpful as ever, suggested I purchase this very important reference guide:

The similarity is STRIKING, don't you think?

Comments

[Lady Susan]

Having experienced these hornworms on my own tomato plants, I can also tell you that if try to forcibly remove them (like one should do if going the organic route), they spurt green puss stuff with impressive and disconcerting force.

If, they have what looks like grain of rice on their backs, take a sigh of relief. It is just parasitic wasp eggs, and in time, they will take care of the worm for you. ;)

[Jen]

HOLY MOTHER that's a huge caterpillar!!! DANG. Also EW.

Nature is kinda freaky.

[Shilo]

Um, not to freak you out any more, but tomato hornworms will sometimes raise their head, LOOK YOU IN THE EYE AND HISS.

I know this is a family blog, but it's FUCKING TERRIFYING.

Be warned!

[Elsha]

UGH. My parents grew tomatoes for years and years while I was growing up and I never encountered one of these. I didn't even know how grateful I should be!!

[Holly]

My neighbor next door had a couple of these suckers on his tomato plants. He stepped on them. SQUISH!

[Jesabes]

If you ever want to completely ruin that book for yourself, google some newsweek article written about it about three years ago (about the meaning behind the book and why it's dedicated to Eric Carle's sister). I read it on maternity leave with Margaret and I'm still scarred. The book makes me so sad now I almost cry reading it.

[Elizabeth]

I also have that blossom drop, boo. And I have white spots. This tomato business is getting stressful, yo.
At least I do not have any very hungry caterpillars, so far. Thank god.
Also, my black tomato has a tomato! Very exciting.

[A'Dell]

For anyone curious, here's the link Jesabes was talking about...super interesting.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2009/03/13/the-surprising-dark-side-of-the-very-hungry-caterpillar.html

[Life of a Doctor's Wife]

That thing is HUGE. Ugh. I'm so sorry he ate your tomato! What a jerk.

[Mel]

EW EW EW EW EW EW EW

I consider myself a pretty tough chick. I can tolerate a lot of stuff that most girls don't manage so well but big, disgusting, unidentified bugs FREAK ME THE FRICK OUT. And that guy is VILE.

[Jenny B]

OMG what will you DO?!! He is scaring me.

[jessica]

We had tomato hornworms in my parents garden growing up. I'd pluck them off and keep them in jars with pruned tomato leaves for company. But my dad would make me feed them to the chickens before they'd turn into their giant great owl form so they couldn't lay any more eggs.

It must be too cold up here for them, I haven't seen one in Idaho. KNOCK ON WOOD.

I always thought they were kind of cute... ha ha ha!