The tomatoes started to blossom so I fertilized them with some gray stuff in a bag that was stinking up to HIGH HEAVEN and WOW it smelled so badly I can't believe I PAID for the contents of this stinky, stinky, bag.
I have four whole tomatoes growing now, 3 weeks after first blossoms. I have two Yellow Pear and two Amish Paste and, look, this seems rather shrimpy to me. I have lots of blossoms on the other ones, but no tomatoes and some of the blossoms have turned brown and fallen off, which I think is called Blossom Drop. The internet tells me it's from lack of pollination so I suppose I'll go outside and shuffle the plants every now and then. It could also be from sustained temperatures above 85 which HA HA YES that is already happening too.
I have to keep remembering that I started these from seeds AND they are heirlooms so they are just not going to produce as early or often as my friends that bought plants. Elizabeth and I were talking about this one day and we produced a very handy graphic to make ourselves feel better about this situation.
Ahem. Moving right along.
I am not sure what I did to the green onions but they stopped growing and then just kind of....vanished one day. I think they maybe needed more water than I was giving them. This is okay, because the cucumber and okra plants are going crazy and I am going to move half of them to the empty spot where the green onions used to be.
Observe cucumber and okra huge-ness, only six weeks after I threw seeds in the ground:
It is rather crowded in this six square feet: two tomatoes, two basils, six okras, six cucumbers. So, I don't know, it's been pretty boring in the garden lately. I water, I prune, I weed. It's rained a little bit. I keep an eye on the bunnies.
Yesterday, I noticed part of a tomato plant had some leaves chomped on. I looked closer, getting agitated about something snacking on my garden. I wondered if the bunnies had figured out how to lean their paws on the fence to get a few leaves...but then I moved on to the next plant, which was missing HALF its leaves and whaaaaaaaat?
UM, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?
A moment later I caught sight of THIS guy, just hanging out all casual-like on one of my beloved Brandywine plants.
He was GIGANTINORMOUS and he had these awful beady eyes and little T-Rex type paws and a little red pokey thing and he was FAT and LUMPY (with my tomato leaves!) and GROSSSSSSS. Oh, he was horrible looking.
Eagle-eye Jess told me what I had was a tomato hornworm. And ohhhhhhh, doesn't that sound EVIL? It is you guys, it totally is evil. I hope you are not eating right now, because what I am about to tell you might make you lose your appetite. This sucker turns into a moth with a FIVE-TO-SIX-INCH WINGSPAN. A fluttery moth that makes whappity-whappity papery sounds with wings AS BIG AS YOUR HAND which presumably FLIES AROUND and it might TOUCH MEEEEEEEEE OMG.
(GAHHHHHHH HAND FLAPPY OMG OMG OMG)
Obviously I do not want any of these around, either as giant caterpillars eating my tomatoes I have spent sixteen freaking weeks babysitting from seeds, or as giant moths flying around my head (HURL). I will be purchasing some insecticide tomorrow. Organic, schmorganic. I cannot have any of THESE anywhere near me.
Elizabeth, helpful as ever, suggested I purchase this very important reference guide:
The similarity is STRIKING, don't you think?