1. I found out there are only three weeks of preschool left. I mean, I knew it was coming, at some point, and I had in my head that it was probably in May...ish? And then April had like, ten Mondays in it and GAH WHEN IS APRIL OVER? and I kind of forgot about the end of preschool coming up soon.
Well, turns out I should have been ENJOYING my April, because there are only three weeks of preschool in May and after that I won't have any place to turn the three-year-old over to when she gets rude.
2. What is everyone doing this summer? Even if you aren't on the preschool track, or even if you don't have kids, you must be doing SOMETHING this summer, right? We are going to do swim lessons at the Y. It's M-Th, an hour each day in June. This is a lot of time at the Y but you know what? I could use some more time at the Y. Plus, it's only $55 for all those lessons so....sold. That's what we're going to do for the entire month of June. I will run, Claire will learn how to swim (we hope), Charlotte will tear up the kid's room. (Related: I BETTER BE A LOT THINNER COME JULY.)
I also have a Groupon for a month of dance class so maybe we'll do that in July. Our neighborhood pool opened last weekend so we can do that some, until it gets over 100 every day. After that I'm out of ideas. Give me your ideas.
3. Charlotte's first birthday is in a week. (!)
4. I read Divergent. And, it was okay. [SPOILER ALERT}
I liked it a lot up until the part where the fictional world imploded on itself. I would like to read a YA dystopian novel about just living in the dystopian world. I do not care to read about the upheaval of the world as the whole interesting part is learning about the world itself and things that go on in the world. I mean, why can't we just have a nice, dystopian world where everything is weird and The End? Perhaps it would not be exactly dystopian, but I'd read that book.
5. I would like a device (a token, chip, card, etc) I can carry around for when I visit a doctor's office that wants me to fill out a handful of forms with my pertinent information. I would be able to just hand them the device, they swipe it, and VOILA, all relevant information is automatically filled in and nobody needs a clip board and nobody has to arrive twenty minutes early and I don't have to put my name and address on seven different forms, seven different times. (WHY DO THEY DO THAT TO US?) Then I can review it, omit information they don't need about me, and approve it.
It would be a lot like the Auto-Fill preferences in a browser, except it would be in real life.
OH WAIT. WHAT IF THESE DOCTOR'S OFFICES JUST SENT YOU THE FORM IN ADVANCE, ONLINE, TO FILL OUT WITH THE AUTO-FILL PREFERENCES WE ALL ALREADY HAVE IN PLACE? AND THEN NOBODY WOULD HAVE TO TRANSCRIBE ANYTHING! Oh! That would be TERRIBLY efficient, wouldn't it??
6. People on the Smoothie Train: What in the hell kind of blender are you using? I don't have a blender, mostly because I think a blender is a huge pain in the ass to own. It takes up a bunch of space on a counter, in the cabinet, and in the dishwasher. It has limited utility when I already own a Cuisinart and a stick blender.
And yet, I see all you people sticking kale (I DON'T EVEN REALLY KNOW WHAT THAT IS) in a smoothie and going, "YUM YUM!" And, I have to be very honest, I don't believe that any of you actually enjoy drinking liquefied kale (whatever that is) because isn't it like...lettuce? Of some kind?
Are your blenders...smaller? Easier to clean? What is going on? Why is everyone a smoothie groupie now? Is salad suddenly not on-trend?
7. Yeah, I'm done. Mad Men is on at my house.