My parenting problems, let me bring them to you for solving

Oh, you are all very wise about The Threes. I bought a book and I was really enjoying reading it and learning how to corral Three but then it disappeared. Literally, the book has vanished. I can only assume that Claire knew what it was about and destroyed it to protect herself.

Whenever the book turns up, we'll revisit that topic because I have things (so many things) to keep saying on that one.

Me = Fascinated!

You = We already talked about that, A'Dell

***

Sometimes (okay, OFTEN) Charlotte will do something that leaves me perplexed on how to respond or what to do and I kind of look at her waiting for inspiration to strike. Since I already have an older child, when inspiration about what to do is conspicuously absent, there is always this sense of "Aren't I supposed to know the answer to that? I have done this before."

Most of the time, I don't have a flipping clue. I either have a very poor memory or my children look the same but behave very differently. Charlotte does stuff ALL THE TIME that makes me think, "I just really do not think we had this problem with Claire," or, "I don't remember Claire doing this but it sure is cute." I probably DO have a spotty memory but it's likely more of an issue that children are different and they are little, individual people and they all do their very own things at their own pace and in accordance with thier personality, which all seems so "no shit" but truly, I am gobsmacked by this realization every damn day.

Kids are different. WOW. (I am like, the smartest person on the internet for coming up with that gem.)

For example, Charlotte makes raspberry sounds all the time. It is very cute, this constant "Thhhhhbbbbbttttt! Thhhhbt! TTTHHHHBBBBBBTTTTTTT!" I don't remember Claire ever doing that.

She also rolls over, in her sleep, while swaddled. Double swaddled.  I really don't remember Claire doing this. Once she rolls over she's got a problem because she can't roll back so this elicits crying and then I have to stop whatever I'm doing and go rescue her. This would not be a big deal if she did not do it every twenty minutes, around the clock, FTLOG. With her arms pinned in that swaddle she's just a really sad, upside down, baby burrito of despair.

Here's my problem du jour: How to get her to sleep out of the swaddle so that when she does roll over she's fine on her tummy? I have tried the gradual weaning with one arm out and she just can't handle it. Arm flailing, in her face, hitting herself, yanking that paci out, not being able to get it back in her mouth....It is basically everything hilarious about babies and their lack of motor skills, except for the part about how there is no sleeping going on until I stick that arm back in her blanket. If I do that? Eyes shut, instantly. (It is a funny experiment at 2pm but not so much at 4am.)

This makes me wonder if she's simply not ready to give up the swaddle except she's rolling over so it's kind of a problem that needs solving and that makes me think that even if she's not ready, her motor skills demand that she be ready so that we do not end up with the baby suffocating because she can't use her arms to prop up. (Holy run-on sentence, Batman! but I am not going to edit it because it is Friday and I am lazy. LAZY WRITER!)

Also, she's going to be giving her up 2am feed next week but she doesn't know it yet. It's sort of Step One in sleep training and getting her to learn how to go back to sleep on her own and I seem to remember (vaguely?) that Claire ditched the swaddle by now. But maybe not. I CANNOT REMEMBER.

The worst part is that you are all going to want to leave me a variety of helpful comments about infant sleep training and swaddling and not swaddling and what you did in your house and it will all be so different and conflicting because babies are different (lesson of the day, folks!). This is going to be very kind and make for interesting reading and I will totally copy one of you, I am sure, but what I would really like is for some kind of baby expert to come visit my house and just tell me what the freak to do to get the highest chance of success at sleeping more than four hours HOLY CRAP I AM TIRED.

Here. Look at the baby.

 

Comments

[jonniker]

Not helpful, just rambling about what we did. Oh holy GOD, Sam was a swaddle ADDICT. ADDICT. And finally, at six (!) months, we had to let her CIO, sans swaddle. We just did it along with sleep training, and it was a real hoot, if by "hoot" you mean a total miseryfest.

I feel for you, man.

[craftyashley]

I don't know how helpful this is, but one of my twins insisted on sleeping on her tummy from the beginning. I didn't swaddle her, just started her out on her tummy- it's hard to flail in that position.

And three, yes. Ouch. My sympathies.

[HereWeGoAJen]

Elizabeth was swaddled until she was seven months and I took her out of it in combination with sleep training. But she never once rolled over (even though by seven months, she obviously could) while swaddled. She barely moved while swaddled. Which is all sorts of helpful for your current problem, I know.

So, how about you swaddle her and then safety pin her to the mattress? No?

[Meghan]

I've been meaning to comment on your 3s post but I've been too busy dealing with the ridiculous 3 year old. As for sleep, I kept A in the swasdle far longer than S, until she was rolling over. Like someone else wrote I jut turned her into a tummy sleeper. I was nervous the first night or two but reminded myself that she could already push up. Now she still needs to be rocked to sleep but once she's down, she's out for about 11.5 hours. I'm working on the rocking thing and will be stalking these comments for good tips. I've tried CIO since it worked perfectly with S but whoa is A a different baby! Anyway, good luck

Oh...and that is one cute Houdini baby;)

[Jessica]

Paul talks WAY more than Margaret did. He sits and has conversations. Plus, he actually says "goo goo" all the time, which I'd decided was a baby speech myth after M.

I'm in denial about our sleep problem, because it won't actually be a problem for a few days. Paul likes to sleep from midnight to somewhere between 8 and 9 am. I go back to work Monday and have to leave the house by 6:30. The next week it will be 6. I have no idea how this will work. It makes me really mad to have to ruin a perfectly good sleep schedule.

[Life of a Doctor's Wife]

Favorite bit of the post: "a really sad, upside down, baby burrito of despair."

I have no advice, but I did want to say that and also to say oh wow your little one is cute.

Good luck! I hope sleep finds you both soon.

[Tara]

Maybe a different kind of swaddler? Eriana would roll when burrito swaddled, but the Woombie allowed her to get her hands up at her chest and her elbows stuck out so she didn't roll. But she couldn't get hands out of the zipped up top. Woombies are pricey, but so, so worth it. I gave all of ours away or I would send them to you in a heartbeat.

[BigP's Heather]

I had a list of highly intelligent comments but then I saw the baby cuteness and now I have no idea what I was going to come in here and say.

Can't you just strap the swaddled child down with duct tape so she can't roll?

Also, don't ever take any advice from me.

Lastly, I'm also the women who let her child sleep in a swing for eight months in order to get sleep.

[natalie]

I have no advice! She's so stinking cute! You have gorgeous children!

[Wendy Watkins]

We had one of those foamy sleep positioner things that they sell at Babies 'r' Us. We loved it so much we bought two. Worth a try for an extra 30 minutes of sleep.

[Elsha]

Will is going to be two in December and it STILL surprises me sometimes how different he is from Kalena.

We never had trouble with the rolling. Will slept in a swaddle until he was like 8 months old (WAY longer than Kalena) but he never rolled in it.

[Jen]

The swaddle: live by it, die by it. Weaning Audrey from the swaddle was rough. I tried the one arm thing for a while but failed. Waited a few weeks, tried again, and she was more ready. It wasn't the easiest transition, but it eventually happened. Good luck lady!

[K]

I had some bits of things to offer and then stared at your baby and forget them.

[K]

Oh!

Remembered!

Ezra was a swaddle junky, too, and we tried to wean him too soon (five months old) and it didn't work. As mentioned above, maybe waiting another week or two? Although, she's still rolling? Maybe she would like to be a tummy sleeper?

Or they make those velcro wedges that you can adjust so that the baby doesn't roll over?

[alison]

I am so tired also. I have no advice, BUT I am going to do with Jude whatever you do with Charlotte in about 3 weeks, so pick a good one, k? Homeboy is like 17 lbs of nomable goodness and he's Not going to blow away if a stiff wind comes up; if he misses his 3am feeding, IT WILL BE OK. Now I just need to convince him of that.

[Roberta]

Someone else mentioned this also, but the Woombie perhaps, instead of a traditional swaddle? My SIL also swears by a Woombie-like thing where they have their arms up (you know how they sleep with arms up, elbows bent at right angles, like L's growing out from their heads) but still contained so they can't flop around and smack themselves, but can roll over, etc. My 1-year old niece still sleeps in one.

[Linnea]

"really sad, upside down, baby burrito of despair"

funniest thing I've read on the internet all day (and I've been on the internet all day... so, you know...)

No advice, because I have no babies, but... um... good luck?

[Mel]

HAHAHAHAHA.

I could have written this one.

Thankfully, I wrote every annoying bit of detail about L down in blog space that NOBODY but me cared about and I have enjoyed referencing back to compare with S. L was able to go swaddle free at 6 weeks on and I did great letting her CIO (really more of a whimper it out, to tell the truth, the child didn't cry much) from early and on and was all kinds of awesome sleeping through the night.

This baby also MUST be swaddled and she breaks free from the double swaddle EVERY NIGHT. I have no idea how. I have the method down perfect. She's a dadgum Houdini. I feel like she would do better to not be swaddled because she would not wake up in the middle of the night, pissed she is swaddled and spending a thirty minutes grunting and breaking herself free only to give me a miserable pathetic FEED ME cry at 3 AM. But the few times I attempt to go unswaddled? She cries relentlessly and cannot fall asleep. It is truly a love/hate relationship with the swaddle for me. I hope you figure it out and tell me what you did. Because this is just stupid at 2 months, she shouldn't be so strong.

And, as always, you make such lovely babies. It is kind of ridiculous.