Thirteen weeks later

I look at this picture, and it seems like it was taken thirteen years ago, rather than thirteen weeks ago. (Look at her skinny, spindly legs!)

In some ways it really WAS a long time ago. Charlotte was four days old in this picture. I look at myself and I kind of shake my head and laugh because in this moment I remember being very excited to not be pregnant any more. That, more than anything else, might have been my overriding thought that first week. Even today, it's freaking awesome to not be pregnant any more. (Especially almost 42 weeks pregnant. I can't say that I recommend it as a must-do life experience.) Really, I feel like I don't even KNOW that girl any more. So much has changed.

I didn't know what was in store and I didn't know how to mother two children and I wasn't sure I'd even be very good at it. I wasn't sure how long the crazy behavior with Claire would last, I didn't know what regressions were in our future and I doubted very sincerely that I'd ever get a good night's sleep for a while. I feel like thirteen-weeks-ago me was pretty innocent. I had no idea what was in front of me. I was walking blindly into a very dark room.

I have had some really frustrating days in those thirteen weeks. I have done things and said things I'm not too proud of. I have picked fights and lost my temper. I have been petty. I have sent a small person to time out for minor infractions. I have also had a great time these past thirteen weeks. I have never spent this much time with my family, ever. Chris and I see each other more often. We eat better meals. Claire and I get to spend entire days exploring and playing and taking care of Charlotte. We are happier now, both with Charlotte finally here and some life stresses we've removed from our plate.

Weeks 5-9 were bad. Baaaaad. They're sort of "lost weeks" and you can tell that I didn't do much other than keep people fed because there are hardly any photos. I didn't play dress up with the baby because she was crying all the time. Claire and I didn't do many outings because the baby was crying all the time. I didn't really post because the baby was crying all the time. I was a bit slow to recognize the reflux and I think I was even in some measure of denial, because I knew that if it was reflux it wasn't a fluke and and it was going to last a lot longer than the one moment I was currently in. 

I didn't want it to last longer than the one moment. I was hopeful it would stop in the next moment. But, of course, it didn't until we got her on the right drugs. 

Coming up on Week 14, we're in a really good place. Things have shifted very noticeably in the past two weeks to a new normal. Adults in this house are getting almost enough sleep and there's even a measure of some predictability to our days and nights. Things are getting done, everyone is getting fed, progress is being made. We are even a breath away from something resembling a routine and a schedule.

I am not sure what I was expecting, but this? This exceeds my expectations, by far. Life is good. 

Comments

[Shelly]

Adorable - each and every one of you!

[Jessica]

Oh my goodness, that cowboy hat is so cute!

[Jen]

Oh you are taking me back. Those first few months with two are so hard. So much harder than adjusting to life with one. I look back and remember the times I yelled and freaked out about silly things and I'm so embarrassed. But I also know that it wasn't my fault. Life was HARD then. I felt like I spent 90% of my day topless with a baby stuck to my boob. A baby who screamed and was never satisfied (hello, reflux eating! hadn't figured that one out yet. heh) And I was soooooooo tired OMG.

I'm so glad for you that you figured out the reflux already. Audrey was 3 months before her symptoms got bad/consistent enough for us to put all the pieces together. I just thought we had a pain in the butt baby ;) Long live the drugs, man.

It gets so much better, too. Just wait. Watching the sisters together will be the best thing ever. xoxo

[Vanessa Napolitano]

I'm so happy that life is good for you and you are through the reflux nightmare. I look back at that period too and wonder how I survived. Congratulations on your happy family and your almost routine!

[Life of a Doctor's Wife]

Those photos are great - you and your girls are beautiful and there's a lot of beauty in finding out what you're made of.

[Elsha]

A'Dell! That cowboy baby!! That picture alone is enough to make me want more babies.

[Meghan]

The beginning with 2 is HARD...and I kept S in daycare for the first 5 weeks. There is no way I would have survived with the both of them in the house. Even now the days that S doesn't have school are rough

But O-M-G...that picture of the 3 of you...beyond adorable. How do you not spend your whole day smushing on all that adorable babyness??? Beautiful!

[HereWeGoAJen]

I'm so glad that you are getting to the good place. Routine helps so much.

All those pictures are SO cute.

[K]

I tell you what--chubby baby arms are where IT'S AT! Oh my heavens!

I think back to last summer when Iris was home and I was home and she was little and still sorting out her medical whatnot and Ezra and just turned two--and oh my lord. It wasn't the best of times. Which kind of bums me out because I sooooo loved my maternity leave with Ezra. But two kids?--balls, no one told me. No one.

Now, though? I wouldn't say it's easy, but it's not exactly hard. It's more like herding cats--but with more heart bursting moments.

[Erica]

So happy that you are all doing well and happy. So good to hear.

[Katie]

Oh, yes, the sweet spot. Welcome.

Not that it is all sunshine and roses from here on out, and there won't still be moments you aren't proud of, but mostly, it is pretty darn amazing having two small children together.

It only gets better, A'Dell! Isn't that incredible?0

[Mel]

Funny how I knew it would be hard but yet had absolutely no idea just HOW hard. I am so unproud of so many things that have happened in the past few weeks, it is ridiculous.

I am so glad you've made it through to the other side!! That baby is just delicious. It is AMAZING the difference between a newborn (or a "mini-baby" as I like to call them) and an actual full fledged BABY. Enjoy every day.

[little miss mel]

So happy to hear things are going so much better. It's so fun having a baby around (even if it's that much harder.)

Congrats on two lovely, lovely little ones. :)