So, several interesting things in the past week:
1. My great grandmother passed away. Thank you so much to all who expressed condolences. She was 96, had lived a wonderful life and the last few years were difficult for her. I think Maggie put it best - that even though SHE was ready that didn't mean the rest of us were.
We sat in the back of the smallish church and Chris took Claire to the back when she started babbling happily. Her tiny squeaks could be heard throughout the service and I fretted abut whether my relatives would be annoyed that she was sort of interrupting poignant moments. Then I decided that I didn't care - she was MY great grandmother after all and I have a baby and SHE is her great great grand daughter and we have a right to be here and SO WHAT BABIES TALK. BITE ME. I was sort of spooled up.
After the service everyone came up to me and said how much they enjoyed her talking. They said it was nice to have a baby around again. They said how much they thought it meant to my Grammie that she lived to see her great great grand daughter. How proud she would be. How they thought the future of our family was so exciting and how perfectly gorgeous our baby Claire is.
I have a nice family like that.
2. Funerals are just not my thing. I've slowly discovered this about myself over the years but I am just not into community grief. I do not express my grief well within a group and I do not enjoy the hours upon hours of sadness in a closed space. I am much more private and I actually feel GUILTY about saying things like, "I really miss her," because I feel like I'm bringing the party down.
Even though I AM AT A FUNERAL. Clearly, I have a major hostess complex.
3. Speaking of not being a downer -- when I die a long, long, LONG time from now, I want there to be an open bar. And balloons. And canapes. And a band. And maybe some fireworks if there's not a burn ban. They could spell, "A'Dell Rocked This Life" in the sky.
4. When we were at the cemetery there was a headstone for a person who is not yet deceased that was a giant chunk of polished, pink granite. It had the person's name in it and a big rifle above the name. Like, a BIG, spanning-from-left-to-right, at least 4-feet wide rifle. It was kind of awesome because it meant that the dude had picked it himself.
We wondered what he had been thinking. Maybe, "When I die, I love my rifle so much I want EVERYONE who cruises by to know that I LIKED HUNTING."
My brother thought that maybe he didn't like hunting at all and just wanted everyone to think that he was a bad ass. Mission accomplished. My brother then mused that he might want crossed pistols on his headstone for similar reasons.
Only in Texas.
5. The girls who watch Claire at daycare asked me today where I shop because I "always have the cutest outfits on." I was shocked and immediately wondered what I was being buttered up for. You see, I shop at the "I had a baby a long time ago but lots of my clothes still don't fit so I wear random shit and call them Outfits" store. Most days I really hate what I'm wearing.
After a few hours though, I realized that maybe they meant that out of alllllll the Moms they see in that place, I am one of the more decently and stylishly dressed ones? Which, I am not sure how that is possible but....okaaaayyyyy. I'll take a win here.
6. I am going to Cancun in a week. A WEEK! And you guys, instead of a packing list for ME I have a list of things to pack for Claire. And (this is so lame) A LIST OF LISTS that I have to make about Claire to give to my Mom so she will have every iota of information and insight I can gather into a spreadsheet format.
Never mind that my Mom is smart and raised two normal kids of her own and it's only 5 days. No. I will overload her with paperwork, schedules and binkys and still flip out if Claire so much as whimpers while I'm gone.
Crap. I am really going to miss her.
7. I finally purchased my plane ticket for The Blathering. WOO!