Adventures in Baby-Wrangling: Going Out for Dinner

Last night we decided to go to a Tex-Mex place that we hadn't been to in years.  It wasn't very good a few years ago, but we'd heard of people who liked it these days so we decided to give it another shot.  Supporting local business and all that.

The food had not improved.  It was actually pretty bad.  The margaritas were even bad.  (And people, if I'm telling you this, THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING.)

The staff, while friendly, came by our table about every two minutes to ask how everything was.  Our server, the manager, the hostess, another server, the hostess again, maybe a cook, someone else official looking, the manager again....It was like FREAKING STOP AND LET ME EAT DAMMIT.  Go away!

All the while, we are doing the baby-wrangling thing with Claire in a high-chair and keeping her occupied with a stream of Cheerios and black beans.  Then I bust out a container of cereal and fruit and spoon feed her THAT while I try to carry on a conversation with my husband, eat my own dinner and assure the very inquisitive staff that YES, things are FINE. 

(It's not as if Claire was being wild and crazy and that was what necessitated the frequent interruptions.  She was being a total doll.)

After we paid our $35 and got back in the hot car (It's 96 degrees at 8:30 tonight), Claire promptly fell asleep and ten minutes later we had to wake her up when we got home, bath time, pajamas, books, lights out.

A round of bottle washing, tiny-tupperware washing, packing lunches for everyone tomorrow and general clean-up followed.  We had a fun discovery when I realized an un-drunk bottle of milk had not made it into the fridge when I got home and had leaked all over the inside of her lunch cooler, creating a really stinky, awful mess. 

In a moment of "The Baby's Dishes are Killing Me Slowly," Chris said, "Can we just throw it away?"

And just like that, the evening had vanished before my eyes.  

***

Taking Claire out to eat used to be really easy.  She was compartmentalized in her carrier and she would often slumber peacefully while Chris and I ate nachos and smugly congratulated ourselves about being Awesome Parents who actually leave the house with an infant. 

We wondered, "What's the big deal?  All those other parents are just 'fraidy cats.  This is simple!  Our baby is awesome."

HA HA HA HA HA.

Now that Claire is smarter and knows that sitting in one place isn't very fun she is MUCH more difficult to keep entertained in one place for more than 3 minutes at a time.  Taking her to a restaurant, while not traumatic by any stretch, is kind of a lot of work.  Going out to eat isn't so much enjoyable as it is a way to fill empty bellies.

To be honest, I really hate the idea of PAYING for the privilege of creating all that work for myself.  It's far easier to stay at home than go through the process of getting ready to go out (packing snacks, her placemat, bibs, toys), being out (wrangling her in the chair, keeping her occupied, making sure she doesn't choke, keeping her happy and not screamy, feeding her HER meal) and then coming home past her bedtime when she's really good and tired (but still needs a bath, diaper change, pajamas and then winding down for bed). 

During all of that, I forget to have fun and enjoy being out with my husband.  It's so easy to get tunnel vision and focus way too much on Claire when we're out.  I regularly drop sentences mid-thought.  And it's not just me!  We have this habit of staring at her and thinking, "She is just fantastic."  We talk to each other, but we spend a lot of time gawking at our child too.

I can't help but think that if we had just kept our butts at home on Monday and had cereal for dinner I'd be

1) skinnier (!)

2) a little more relaxed because I have some extra time

3) happier because the time spent with the fam tonight was high quality

I suppose that part of the weirdness here is that since I go to the office for most of the day, when I am with Claire I want to actually be WITH her and not just in the same room.  I want to interact with her and savor all of her grins and giggles and see what she's discovered her hands can do today. 

When we're at a bad Tex-Mex place and I'm trying to keep my hot plate and pointy fork away from her grabby hands, while carrying on a conversation with the entire staff about the quality of my dining experience, plus catching up with Chris, I feel a little cheated on the Quality Time Index.  Yes, I'm still spending time with her and we DO have to eat dinner every night, but it's a 90 minute frazzled event if we go out and 20 enjoyable minutes if we stay in.

In my world of limited face time, that's a lot.  She goes to bed at 7.

My new thinking is that we're not going out to dinner any more during the week unless we really want whatever is on the menu.  The baby-wrangling and shortened evening is SO not worth it.  

Comments

[Morgan S.]

We went out for Father's Day - my husband, me, our 2.5 year old and our 1 year old. It almost KILLED us. I have never had such a rotten time. I would have had MULTIPLE glasses of wine to ease the pain, but I couldn't even drink my ONE GLASS due to the child wrangling. I actually said this when the food arrived (imagine a high pitched, strangled voice) "What are we going to DO?!?! I CANNOT STAND THIS. Can we wrap it up to go so I can eat it at home after they are ASLEEP?!!!!" I never, ever thought I would say something like that. Also, I spent $65 to NOT eat my dinner at the restaurant?

I so understand your desire for quality time at home with a tuna sandwich or bowl of cereal over paying for the privilege of entertaining a baby in a high chair while furtively shoveling food in your mouth and having a disjointed conversation with your spouse.

[Manda]

I AGREE I AGREE I AGREEEEEE!
Also yes it is THE WORST when the wait staff will NOT leave you alone! To me it is the mark of a good restaurant if my water glass gets refilled and I DO NOT EVEN NOTICE. SIGH.
Also? Bad Tex-Mex is SO DEPRESSING. Sorry dude.

[Mom]

You should have told the inquisitive restaurant employees what you really thought of the food and drink. "How is the food?" "mm average" or "margaritas are watery" etc. Maybe they will either do something about it, or at least quit asking. Although I have had some servers act pleased when I respond that their food is "edible". These people are trying to get you to believe the meal is wonderful...much like all the employees at a hair salon will tell you how great your hair is when you're thinking, "I'm not sure about the look of this cut or color."

[meghan]

I am so glad you wrote this. I had been feeling woefully inadequate after reading about you guys taking her to concerts and all that. We too have had to stop the dinners out. It's no fun eating the early bird special while shoveling cheerios in someone's mouth

[Courtney]

too bad you don't live in an area with convenient take-out places. Then you could at least just order out instead of going out. The idea of occasionally not having to cook at night makes me excited (or clean all the cooking dishes!!). Plus the booze is cheaper at home!

[Grace]

Oh, A'Dell. I totally understand. Going out to eat used to be about relaxing and not having to shop, plan, cook, and clean up after a meal. There are some day when it's just not worth all of the other hassle...

P.S. I miss Tex-Mex, but the good kind with the attentive, but invisible waitstaff :-)

[Mel]

I am an absolute home-body convert. We occasionally brave the wild and she's still young enough yet for us to make it work, but I know my days are numbered. My brain hurts thinking about having to go out most days, though. Being at home is so much easier and generally, free.

[Sarah]

I'm so glad to find someone else who thinks it's just not worth it to go out to eat anymore with the hassle!! I'm sure my baby will be the wild child in a restaurant because we never take him out to eat but last time we tried, one of us ended up walking him around the restaurant while the other one ate! It's hard to imagine a time when you'll be able to eat dinner with both of your hands free :)

Sarah at http://acharmedlife-sb.blogspot.com/