No. I'm not having the baby. And I haven't had the baby already either. And I don't see anything in the foreseeable future that leads me to believe that I will EVER EVER EVER have this baby.
(Although Chris has declared several times that he knows "for certain" that she will be born "at some point." Pfft. What does he know? I'm going to be pregnant forever.)
If you've called me recently and I have failed to return your phone call, please don't take it personally. It is just that I cannot stand one more person asking me:
No baby yet?
OK, really, how are you feeeeeeling?
The answers to these popular questions? I feel fine. Even if I didn't feel fine I would lie to you so that I don't have to talk about it because quite frankly it is none of your business that my hips constantly feel as if they are being widened much like I imagine the Red Sea did for Moses. (See? That was just a little too much information for you, wasn't it?)
And really, there is no baby yet. Truly. I'm not hiding her.
AND I FEEL FINE.