Don't call; I'll write

No.  I'm not having the baby.  And I haven't had the baby already either.  And I don't see anything in the foreseeable future that leads me to believe that I will EVER EVER EVER have this baby. 

(Although Chris has declared several times that he knows "for certain" that she will be born "at some point."  Pfft.  What does he know?  I'm going to be pregnant forever.)

If you've called me recently and I have failed to return your phone call, please don't take it personally.  It is just that I cannot stand one more person asking me:

How are you feeling?
No baby yet?
OK, really, how are you feeeeeeling?

The answers to these popular questions?  I feel fine.  Even if I didn't feel fine I would lie to you so that I don't have to talk about it because quite frankly it is none of your business that my hips constantly feel as if they are being widened much like I imagine the Red Sea did for Moses.  (See?  That was just a little too much information for you, wasn't it?) 

And really, there is no baby yet.  Truly.  I'm not hiding her. 

AND I FEEL FINE.

Comments

[beth]

ha ha ha
One of my fave comics ever is called "Moses: The Early Years"
And the picture is of a little Moses baby parting the waters of his bath with his rather frazzled looking Moses mama standing over him saying "quit the Moses and take your bath." I love it.
So I suppose my point is, better your hips than the bathwater. Because HOW.ANNOYING. would that be?!
:)

[robin]

i feel like i'm stalking your blog! i check it every 30 minutes to see if you've gone into labor...you WILL tell us when you're in labor right??? :0) because i'll feel really left out if i check back here & all of a sudden there's lots of pictures of your new baby girl & i didn't even know you were in labor! :0)

[Heather]

I can only imagine how frustrating this time must be. I am so anxious and I still have weeks. I hope that she comes quickly and easily when she decides it is finally time. Truly, that is the least you deserve.

[kelly]

As I was watching The Amazing Race last night, I thought about you and am hoping that you are doing well. If you havn't had the baby yet, it will be any minute now. I hope the birth and delivery go smoothly and as you have planned. Good luck and I can't wait to see pictures of your little girl.