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May 19, 2008


I also love to have people over, but I am much more laid back about it. I am always kind of in awe of people who are great at organizing a party perfectly. I work with a lady who I just let organize all of our work events because she could be a party planner! I always for get some little detail or another. Maybe I need a spreadsheet...

I do, however, always try to RSVP though! Even if I have to tell the hostess I'm a maybe (and give her the reason why) until I know for sure what is happening on that day.

I miss the wonderful days of entertaining in the military where everyone knows how to be a good guest. After 8 years of entertaining civilian co-workers I have given up.

People do not RSVP, if they do, they do not always stick to their decision. Those that say "yes" do not come and those that say "no" show up. Of course this is usually after the Executive Assistant has called them inquiring if they are coming or not. A few years ago we received an invitation to a wedding I really wanted to attend. At the same time, our nephews were playing in the High School Baseball State Finals. If they continued to win there was a great possibility they would have a game on the same date. I waited until the last possible day to mail my response so it would arrive BEFORE the due date. I regretted, wanting to attend the game over the wedding. The next game they lost, but I did not contact the host and change my mind. We just missed the wedding.

If the invitation says 6:00pm - 9:00pm, that means you arrive at 6 and leave at 9. It does not mean arrive sometime between 6-9. If you can't judge traffic, arrive early and drive around the neighborhood until 6:00, then ring the doorbell. Start saying your good-byes, and thank yous to your hosts about 8:50 and leave. If you are the guest of honor be sure to show up, and after the party send a note of thanks.

I think you can count on seeing those 2 children. People who respond 10 days late to an invitation don't take hints. She asked and you needed to answer with blunt truthfulness, "Not this time this is an adult only party", or better yet "NO, don't bring them". I have actually said the later and even after 20 years we are still friends. The couple was new to the military and honestly did not know the protocol. At least they asked, and I feel I educated them and they were not put in an embarrassing position.

These days I entertain family and close friends...it is a lot less stressful and more enjoyable for me than trying to make surprise guests feel comfortable and welcome as I run around the house at the last minute trying to make room for them.

oh I totally agree. I threw a bridal shower for my soon to be SIL in a few weeks ago and one of the guests showed up with her mother since she was in town too (never mind that this woman had never met the bride to be). She called the restaurant to ask them if it was ok, instead of me! And of course the restaurant didn't mind, it was a seated lunch and we were paying by the head.

Some people just have no clue

Hi! Is it just as rude that I did not respond? I can not make the baby shower since I am in California, but I am so sad to miss it! I am sorry...I was not brought up with proper manners...can I blame it on my mother?

I had a seated, place carded, dinner party for the co-workers. One guest did not show up until after the salad course. Since he did not show up during the one hour when we served drinks and hors d'oeuvres I had removed his plate and place card and rearranged the dining table. When he showed up with an uninvited guest I was left with retrieving his tableware and procuring an extra plate, silver, crystal, napkin, chair etc. for the surprise guest and reapportioning the rest of the food. I did not offer them a salad...it was already on the other guests plates, half eaten. I was also short one chocolate mousse dessert due to the surprise guest. I told my husband in private that he would pass on the dessert because no one would believe that I would pass up chocolate mousse. He poured himself an extra Brandy, and after everyone else left I had an extra drink too. That was my last seated dinner party I hosted for this group. The next party was a buffet.

Years ago I was hosting my first dinner party. Thankfully everyone responded in a timely manner and I had a definite count on how many people were coming. I was short one place setting of sterling. I wanted the table to be beautiful so, I spent quite a bit of money purchasing the silver on a strict budget. Can you imagine how I would have felt if someone simply decided not to show, or brought an extra guest and I would not have had enough silver, china, crystal, or food. Of course that did not happen. The people that were invited were good guests, and it was a wonderful, fun party for everyone.


Did the uninvited Mother bring a present to the shower? And did the bride send the mother an invitation to the wedding? Obviously the Mother taught her daughter everything she knows about being a good guest.

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